Legends of the Foxwife
by ladywinterfic
Summary: Collection of KakaNaru oneshots. Variable rating, read the headers. - Tale 30: Like A Rock
1. Origin

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 1: Origin

* * *

Once there was a woodsman who roamed the wide wide forests, strong and sure and swift, and had everything he needed except a companion. He spent the seasons longing for someone beautiful and understanding and finally he met her one evening in a clearing.

"Will you marry me?" he asked.

"If you trust me," she answered.

And so it was, and they lived for awhile happily and well, devoted and true. But woodsman had a hound who became more and more hostile to the lady from the woods, and one day it attacked her so viciously that she lost her human shape.

The fox ran, frightened, leaving her heart behind. The woodsman tried to follow, but she was swifter still.

"You may be a fox," the woodsman yelled into the forests, "but I love you!_ I love you_! Come back when you can; you will always be welcome!"

Eventually she heard.

And every evening thereafter she stole back and slept in his arms.

* * *

_end_

* * *

AN: This will be a series of KakaNaru/NaruKaka one-shots loosely based on the fox-wife legend, which I'm very fond of, since it's one of the few myths where a spirit married a human where they're actually happy together. The above story is a rewritten version of the variant of the legend I found.

If you have an idea/request, I'd like to hear it! I'll credit you in the story I use it in. =)

* * *

**Edit: **Certain tales have been split off into their own fic, or grouped under a different name, the changes are noted below.

_Tale 2: Follow Me Down _moved to**Are You Man or Ghost? **(new non-pairing oneshot archive)

_Tale 4: And I Would Walk 500 Miles, Tale 5: And I Would Walk 500 More, Tale 6: To be the Man who Walked a 1000_ moved to it's own story page. See **My Stories** tab, under **And I Would Walk 500 Miles**.

_Tale 15: Strike While The Iron Is, Tale 23: Strike While The Iron, Tale 24: Strike While The_ moved to it's own story page. See ******My Stories** tab, under **Strike**.

_Tale 17: Void_ moved to** Are You Man or Ghost? **(new non-pairing oneshot archive)

_Tale 22: Conversations at the Memorial Stone _moved to** Are You Man or Ghost? **(new non-pairing oneshot archive)


	2. Tale 3: Memoirs Of A

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 3: Memoirs Of A

.o0o.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

**AN**: I'd wanted to post an older!NaruKaka, but this was taking up Doc Manager space and the Epic would not stop growing. ::wry::

**Warning:** KakaNaru, semi-underage, non-explicit.

* * *

"Ah Kakashi-san!" She bowed. "Good evening."

He tilted his head at the mistress of the house. He would normally not revisit a place, especially not one where he's apparently recognized, but.

A few months ago he'd caught sight of a girl, sixteen or seventeen from the way that she moved (_that __her chest moved)_ and she laughed and spoke with the madame with such a familiarity that the woman became warm in a way which was rare in her profession. The girl was not particularly well trained, nor elegant, but something in the color of her eyes, and her hair, and the arch of her neck said to Kakashi, _she would be a good distraction. _Something in the comfortable placid ease about her and the way that she spoke (like she had all the time in the world) said, _she would be a good way to forget. _She was both similar to and entirely different from.

From.

Someone Kakashi should not be thinking about.

"Are you looking for someone specific?"

"Aa. Last time, the blond—" He cuts himself off at the recognition in her face. And he does not want to admit that he did not actually remember the geisha's name.

The madame hums.

"My apologies, she is away. May I arrange for another?" There is a look in her eyes; she is not saying all that she knows.

"Mmm," he murmured, keeping his tone light, "when do you think she will be back?" He— he _misses, _and he doesn't want to think of whom. He wants to watch joy rip across a face half-familiar and pretend the look in those blue eyes comes from another, wants to lick at her and to breathe her in and try to imagine what she would smell like male.

He wants to allow himself to touch.

Her eyes sharpen, and she looks at him, careful and intent.

"Such interest!" She says, an edge in her tone, and he is suddenly on guard because for some reason the conversation has turned into a battle, and he doesn't know the battleground, nor even what's at stake. But, he is jounin and ex-ANBU; this isn't an unfamiliar feeling.

He looks back steadily, and waits.

"She's with a long term engagement," she says eventually, and sips at her tea, "though not a patronage." She puts just the slightest emphasis on the last word and gives the impression of not particularly caring for his response.

They both know she is lying.

"Maa, I have no interest in being her patron!" He grins. It is very fake. _What's she playing at? _He was willing to shell out for the girl's virginity (_which had been— her responses were— _he'd be willing to pay _again_, he'd already known when he first sank into her, legs pulling at his waist as her hands cupped his face, her eyes half-lidded and full of welcome), but being a patron was something more than most people's bank accounts could handle, his included.

"Oh?"

"A night perhaps," he tries to say easily, "sometime soon." But as the last words leave his mouth he already knows he's given himself away. And the madame smiles her victory; asking for a night indicates wanting the girl, which reveals nothing that hadn't already been revealed, but asking for 'soon' gives away desperation.

"Such words!" She laughs. "Yet you do not wish to keep her." She smiles thoughtfully.

Saying 'I do not want her' would not only be laughable, and already disproven by his previous statements, but he's not entirely sure at this point that he could prevent himself from saying 'I do not want_ her_', with an unfortunate emphasis. He knows that the madame is fond of the girl, and knows to try to not step into that explosive trap.

"Then, for forgetfulness' sake?" It's not entirely a question. She's implying that he is attempting to forget someone. She's somehow reading him entirely too well.

_Fuck. _

She sets her cup and her eyes down and makes a show of fussing with the tea things. She does not need to look at him to know she's struck a hit.

"You assume much." Dammit, he showed too much anger just then.

"Only what you yourself reveal."

_Dammit. _

"Is the forgetting worth it, or is the one to be forgotten worth more?" She asks this softly, as gentle as Ibiki could be, with two inches of steel so fine that it takes awhile before the bleeding starts.

He already knows he's giving something away right now, but he has no idea what she's reading off him. He wonders what she knows, what she's playing at, what she wants, but the only way to find out is to stay. But he's losing too much ground. He's preparing to retreat when some sort of decision happens behind her eyes and—

"She was such a precocious student," she murmurs and he gives up all thoughts of moving (_what does she know?)_, "but hard to teach. I'm sure you can sympathize, having had students of your own."

He feels pinned down. _What is she—_

"She came to me so eager, so _wanting_," this said almost near lecherously, "to learn. A natural talent, but not a classical talent, nor a traditional talent." She gives a frustrated sigh; it's perhaps the most unaffected and genuine thing she's done since he entered the room. "She's in no way a genius but was inclined to improve, even though she didn't have the sort of mind that can be taught by the usual methods. However, she'd not the sort of will _behind_ that mind to be easily discouraged by being 'unteachable'."

He unwillingly thinks of Naruto, and Kakashi's mind races. There's no reason why she would have known the boy, or how she _could've_, but something in her sudden smile is unnerving.

"Ah well, look at me, wool gathering! If you truly wish to wait, she'll be back in about two years." She looks at him intently. "She left on a training trip."

_What. _His mind is frozen.

"I would, perhaps, find it interesting that you never asked for her name. Well. _His_ name, as he never named his jutsu form." Her look is sharp and unerring. Her teeth look much the same.

_Right, I never asked for her na— his. He._ Kakashi stares at her, his eye wide.

"But, you already know his name, don't you?"

He feels gutted.

Her eyes are hard, "Naruto came to me, wanting to learn. He saw one of my girls subdue a shinobi who'd come in cold and angry, and who'd left less hard. And he understood what he saw, more than most people."

She plays with her teacup, fingers gentle on the ceramic. Kakashi cannot look away.

"When you asked for him, he told me not to refuse. He said you didn't recognize him and he said he wanted to know what it would be like, if you didn't. If you would be—" she cuts herself off. Continues as if she'd never stopped, "He responds so well to kindness, did you know?"

He had thought she'd been at _least_ sixteen. He had let himself run his hands across her and pull gasps from her and while she didn't much let him touch her face that was normal for geisha who were so heavily made up. She was completely different from what he'd thought Naruto would've been like; something about her seeming settled and at peace and moving like she wanted to stretch out the moments longer, instead of hurrying in any way. He remembered letting himself smile at her, running fingers through her hair, and she had arched under his hands like she was starved for touch_._

Naruto, he realized, had arched under his touch, like he was _starved_.

"Were you kind to him, Kakashi-san?" she asked gently, like poison on a jeweled hairpin.

He shushins away.

There's fire in his gut, in his eye, in his guilt and his loss. He wants to scream at everything he'd broken, good intentions and promises and childhood and _Naruto_, but there's not enough air in his lungs to let it come out and no place in Konoha where its safe. He doesn't understand how it is that he can fuck up so consistently whenever its important. Its a stabbing ache, all over, and it feels like he's bleeding, only nothing has struck him.

And then he realizes that he actually _i__s_ bleeding. He looks at the red stains on his fingers from when he reached up to wipe at his cheek (had been so incredibly angry that it was wet, because he has no right to cry).

He goes numbly to a bathroom, and lifts up his hitai-ate, and looks in the mirror.

The usual three tomoe do not look back.

Kakashi stares at what must be the Mangekyou Sharingan, then controls himself and forcibly pulls his chakra away from the eye.

Well.

He thinks about the Uchiha bloodline and about their power and their frightening genius, which leaves him and his own supposed genius feeling horribly underpowered and outclassed. He remembers Itachi's competence in ANBU and Sasuke leaving the Academy already at chunin fighting strength. They will only get stronger, he thinks. They will, in one form or another, be after Naruto, this he knows. The Akatsuki gives Jiraiya cause for concern and Orochimaru can match the Toad Sage; and Jiraiya is strong enough to be a Kage.

I will have to train the Mangekyou, Kakashi thinks. It is something he can _do_ instead of- well actually, he does not know what he should be doing in regards to Naruto. He does not know what to do to not fuck up the situation more. But he can- he can train Naruto when he comes back, he can try to look at him instead of avoiding the blond's gaze, and Kakashi promises himself that he will help him do anything he sets his mind to.

Kakashi will help keep Naruto alive, and for that the Copy Nin would have to get stronger. He will have to stop avoiding getting strong enough to get stuck in a tower, beneath a robe and a hat and far too much paperwork and responsibility; he would, essentially, have to stop being _weak._

He refuses to contemplate his similarity to Sakura.

(It is thus neither here nor there that he avoids her for the next two years.)

* * *

_end._

* * *

AN: heee! XD While there's manga confirmation that Kakashi's aware of Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu form post-timeskip, there's no indication of it pre-skip. SO. Thus this fic, sorta. Also, what's with Kakashi pretty much avoiding Sakura during timeskip, amirite?


	3. Tale 7: Icarus Rises

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 7: Icarus Rises

.o0o.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

**AN: **Set in Ancient Greece. Might make more sense if you're aware of Athenian pederasty (the practice of having older lovers, 'erastes', court male teens, 'eromenos'). Thanks to Fallen-chan for the prompt!

**Warning:** KakaNaru, M/M/F, EXPLICIT SEX, mostly older Naruto. Sparse use of Japanese names in an inappropriate culture. ::wry:: Apologies! I couldn't figure out a way around it, and the lack of names got too confusing. And I couldn't figure out a workable equivalent in Greek. x.X;;

* * *

The blond comes to him at night, and he pulls him in from the window and shuts it tight.

"You shouldn't keep coming here," he says, pressing his face into the crook of that tanned neck, "You're already an adult."

The young man who used to be his eromenos just buries himself deeper into his embrace and chuckles, "I don't see you letting me go."

"How can I?" He mouthes silently into the blond's skin. The young man hums in delight and starts sneaking his fingers into cloth ties and stripping him of his robes. He tries again, speaking out loud, "You've hit your maturity, you should be getting a wife. Children."

"There are many things I 'should be doing'." The orphan had mentioned to him before with bitterness the things expected of him (from his 'barbarian' mother's lineage) and from him (because he was family-less and 'unprotected' and- _you should let me pay for that, lovely_.)

It'd made the silver-haired commander rage when he'd found out, because whoever that was had essentially been trying to strip the boy of his citizenship, since free men do not sell themselves and to sell oneself was to revoke one own's rights. But he'd only found out after the blond had securely become his eromenos and the teen had swayed his hand, saying it was in the past and no harm was done as he hadn't been weak enough to give in.

That brightness of soul, that forgiveness, always humbles him. Athens needs it, on her Council.

"You want to be Strategos like your father," he reminds the young man.

"And I'll be one no matter what they think of me."

They're skin to skin now, and the commander knows he wouldn't be able to think if they'd kept touching so he yanks the blanket up and around and wraps the blond up tight in it. "Why won't you listen," he murmurs into that hair, trying to keep him still. "It matters that they don't think you weak. Men don't cling to their erastes."

"If they think me weak then they won't guard against me," he counters, "Gah, you fought so hard for me and now you're trying to push me away?"

Naruto had been one of the most sought after youths of his generation, and though not as hotly contested as his dark-haired yearmate, the competition for him was still fierce. The silver-haired man originally returned to Athens from the Macedonian front when he'd heard that the son of his own erastes was starting to be pursued. He'd planned to play the role of pedagogos, guarding him against unwanted advances, since the boy's deceased father could not assign him one. But then he'd laid eyes on the blond.

Thinking back, he'd probably engaged in more personal confrontations during that time than he'd ever had over a similar period on the battlefield, and had found himself fending away men from the boy's window and front stoop, claiming them as his own.

"Here again?" the boy had teased him.

"Your threshold is comfortable," he'd excused himself, drooping.

"Liar," and the blond had tried to duck and peer into the hood of his robe, but he just turned away. He'd promised himself not use his name to bargain, promised himself not use his status to bend him, but it'd made Naruto huff, and ask petulantly, "Why won't you let me know who you are?"

"You already know who I am," Kakashi had replied, cheerfully, hand at that tanned cheek. "I am the man who has claimed the right of your stoop. The one who has attempted and failed to write you poetry that 'you didn't want anyway', whom you have kissed in the dark when I told you I believed in you, and who even still believes that you could be Strategos. The one whom you've told that _*that*_ was better than any poem." And Kakashi had reached down and palmed the teen's cock, "I am the one who has touched you here more than any other and I know the feel of you almost better than my own."

The blond's eyes had widened and darkened, his breathing quick.

"Do you know that when you leave me, I let myself smell my fingers? That I lick them to try and catch a taste?"

The boy had groaned, and leaned into him more, and he'd tilted his head to further duck his face into his hood's deep shadows.

"Would you let me teach you your body? Even not having seen me?" he'd murmured, "Would you call me your erastes?"

"_Yes_," the blond had finally conceded and embraced him and pressed his face blindly into the shadows, seeking his mouth; he'd met him halfway, letting his hood tilt back, finally in the sunlight. Those blue eyes didn't even bother to open, for the longest time, and when they did, they'd looked at him astonished. He'd half-expected to find himself dropped from those arms and bowed at, but instead the teen had only said, "It's not like you're deformed. I thought you had fish lips or something."

"Fish lips." He'd stated, eyes half-lidded in mild disquiet.

"Yes, Commander," the blond acknowledged, irreverent, sing-songed, "Fish lips, maybe an ugly mole, or a big nose."

And when he'd tackled his new eromenos into a tree, the boy had only laughed like Eos at morning.

"You would refuse me tonight?" the boy, grown into a young man strong, asks now. "Tonight of all nights?" His head is bowed.

It's been ten years, exactly.

"Promise me you'll take a wife," he only replies, hands stroking against those cheeks.

"I—"

"Please, _promise_ me." He catches at that sweet mouth gently, beseeching.

"I-I promise," tears out of the man, whose promises were god-crafted, and there is wetness at his eyes and desperation in his kiss. He only tips Naruto onto his bed, tangles the young man into his limbs instead of the sheets, and tries to make it a night worth remembering, because the blond will speed like Helios into the day.

He does not stay long enough to watch his eromenos seek the bed of another. Macedonia called.

.o0o.

The arrow, when it hit, felt like nothing.

The poison, when it hit, felt like the hand of the fates.

He smiled into it.

.o0o.

There is the sense of movement, of travelling in the darkness, and he is concerned because he does not have the gold to pay the toll. It is cold.

Cold. He misses his sun, even though he gave him up for better things. He wonders if that would be enough to grant him Elysium.

There is a cup at his mouth and he is about to drink it when he remembers, and tries to push it away. He does not wish to drink of Lethe; he would keep his memories, they are all he has. He tries to say so.

_It's not Lethe, _a woman's voice replies.

They would grant him to drink from Styx? He is astonished that he's offered immortality, but he shakes his head; the price was to sip from the river of hate, and he cannot hate his eromenos. _Used_ to be, he reminds himself. Who _used_ to be, his. But not anymore.

_You call it Archeron, _a warm hand lifts his head. _Drink._

Ah, that he could do.

He is used to drinking of pain.

.o0o.

"I think he's waking up."

A face of sunshine and happiness pops into view, and he is astonished.

"You_ died_?"

The blond snorted, "_*You*_ didn't."

"Oh." He croaks. He does not know quite what to say, he realizes he feels a little sore from stillness, a little weak from hunger, but remarkably alive.

"Water?"

He looks over and a pretty, young woman was there; by the color of her hair, a northerner, though odd because in the afternoon light the red looked pink. Probably a slave, he thinks, and nods. She brings forward a cup.

"She was the one who healed you up," the blond says joyful, "They brought you back expecting you to die but she'd whipped up these herbs that no one knew about and leeched the poison right out. None of _their_ medics could do it."

The commander hummed while sipping some more, water had never tasted so wonderful.

"Maybe now those Councilmen will believe me," Naruto grins, "When I say my wife is—"

He spits out his water, "_You married a barbari—_"

There is a knife at his throat. "Are you going to make something of it?" She hissed, fiery.

Kakashi eyes her, dismissively, "The _Council _would make something of his marrying a Celt." Quietly, "They already grief him for his mother."

"Oh." The blade lowers. Then she tosses her head and says determinedly, fiercely, "The Council don't know the antidotes that I do." The threat in that statement shouted, _they don't know my poisons, either._

He could only look at her vaguely impressed, this was no wilting flower from Athen's noble quarter. If anything she'd struck him as Spartan, coltish and strong. It was most probably a good choice for wife, to beget strong children, though a nightmare politically. Thinking of the poisons however, perhaps she might be a nightmare right back.

His blond smirks, "She's beautiful, angry, isn't she?" And hauls her in to sit on his his lap, chuckling at her reaching to smack at his shoulder. "It's good that you told me to marry."

And he aches, watching them together, but he can't look away. They're lovely like that, her arching her neck back and him catching at her mouth and Kakashi feels a bit warm as they grew heated, even as he felt cold, also.

But he remembers what he now knows is her voice when she asks him to drink of pain. So he keeps watching even as the blond brushed her chiton away from her breasts and as she shoved up the bottom of her- of her_ husband's_ own. He watches a pink nipple peek from between tanned fingers, as it gripped and rubbed like it belonged there. He watches as his young man pushes into her, which he knows even though cloth obscures their joining because of the way the both of them groan. His throat is very dry.

His heart is very sore.

"You're wrong. This must be Tartarus," he murmurs, resigned.

Blue eyes dart up with surprise, then gentles, and the blond pushes the drape of cloth aside to reveal how he's in her, wet, and that same tanned hand grips her thigh and lifts it away, and says to him, "I'd thought you'd join in."

"...join?"He blinks and darts his gaze at hers, but green eyes were smiling too, with welcome.

"There's room with us," she says full of warmth.

"I'm married," Naruto points out, when he opens his mouth to protest, "Like a proper citizen."

And then she slips her fingers down, then up inside her, fingering her husband's hardness and Naruto squeaks as she strokes.

"There's room," she repeats, wildly wicked, "And you're _late_."

And he breaks with a gasp, lunges forward to taste them, to tongue at the blond's cock where it disappears into her and at her fingers still up in herself. Their paired whimpers are delicious, too; he holds up her other thigh to give himself more room and greets his blond's sack with a playful lick.

"You weren't kidding," she gasps out and takes her fingers out to brace herself. His young man moans in agreement and slowly thrusts.

"Oh?" he asks as he mouthes at Naruto's hardness as it slides out, then laps at the nub of her when it was all in; they are all but sobbing from it.

"He bet me," she says, in between her breaths, "That you— you'd be irresistible. That I'd find you to be—" The end of the sentence is a shriek as he moved his fingers, of the hand not holding her thigh, up into her and next to Naruto, and hummed gently, licking quickly, at where she'd wailed the loudest. She comes with that shriek, fluttering against his fingers, pressing them tighter against the blond's cock.

"Nngh," the young man grunts, and clutches madly at the base of himself.

Kakashi disengages gently and scoots himself upright. He reaches over the northerner's shoulder to that scarred cheek, to feel his face twist, and is given a kiss into his palm.

"What did you win?" The young man's wife looks too pleasured to answer, herself, yet.

"The fact that you will be the first in her ass."

He collapses against them both with a groan and he feels his eromenos run fingers through his hair. "You're giving me her First," Kakashi asks.

"You're good in there," he hears the grin, "I should know."

"But _later_," she interrupts, her breath finally caught again, tugs him even closer still and lines their cocks together. She pauses as she raises herself up, "If either of you moves suddenly I'm going to punch the _both_ of you in the windpipe."

"So uncivilized," he mutters and clutches at Naruto's hand as she slipped down over them.

"That means he likes you," the blond pants to his wife conspiratorially, squeezes his hand meaningfully, and they thrust into her carefully, partnered, when she bottomed out. And it was _exquisite_, her wet silken tightness and his familiar heat.

He'd given himself over to the Moirae when the fever hit. Atropos had wielded her abhorred shears around him far too often, his family, his comrades, his own dear erastes, and he'd been surprised that she'd waited that long.

But apparently The Weaver is not done with him yet. There is no other explanation for why he's still breathing. The arrow should have been fatal but a bird taking flight startled him. The poison should have killed him, but his eromenos married a Celt who was a healer. The travel back to Athens alone should have finished him off, but here he is, slid up tight next to his beloved, and _alive_.

Naruto's groans are muffled into her shoulder, and curses slip, dirty, from her mouth, and Kakashi's fighting from coming with all his will, and if this—

If _this_ is where the gods will him to be, thrusting up into this fiery beauty twined with the one who pierces his heart, if the gods so strongly wills him to embrace the one who is like the sun, well, he will bow to their wishes, then, gladly.

He will pay for it later, like Icarus; or... perhaps he'll learn how to swim.

* * *

_end._

* * *

AN: That was super great fun. XD And I loved the irony of Kakashi trying to refuse Naruto 'cause Naruto was too _old. _ And I hope that people weren't too turned off by the Sakura, and that despite the relative namelessness that everyone made sense? o.0; The idea of attempting to make their names Greek hurt my head. But Japanese names in a Greek setting hurt my head too, so I tried to use them as sparingly as possible.

The following is what I've managed to understand of ancient greek culture through liberal use of wikipedia. I MAY BE WRONG; and if so take it as this particular fic's AU. Also I'd realized in hindsight how much I adored greek myths and slipped in references that people may not get AT ALL, so I added in notes on those.

**Athenian pederasty -** the practice of having older lovers, 'erastes', court male teens, 'eromenos', really I would recommend a quick browse at it's entry in wikipeadia, it's kinda interesting

**citizenship - **a statesman at one point was actually stripped of his status due to the fact that he sold his body when he was younger, there were apparently some surviving court documents that included arguments against him

**Athenian government - **democratic insomuch as it were if you weren't a slave or female. There were 10 **Strategos** which were basically like generals that were also statesmen and they were pretty much the highest ranking people of their city-state in both military and government, which were tied pretty closely together.

**erastes and eromenos relationship past maturity - **roughly, once you become an adult it's expected that you don't sleep with your erastes anymore, 'cause that would put one on a level with slaves or women. There's expected a life-long friendship however; though sometimes the parting is bitter and they hate each other.

**Macedonia -** where the Greek city-states mostly adopted democracy, provided you were male and greek, Macedonia was royalty-based with serfdoms and everything, and expanding rapidly. Basically, "You're a creeping stain on the Free World!" ::cough:: The irony is delicious, I know. This is roughly the time of Philip, a titch before Alexander the Great hit the scene.

**pedagogos -** slaves hired to guard rich men's son's from being forced. Granted, apparently part of the courtship included a lot of hands on cocks... according to the vases, if they're to be taken literally, potential eromenos were greeted with one hand to the cheek and another on the penis.

**Celts - **Roughly a decade or so before this fic was when Rome was sacked by the Gauls, and the Celts came down too and sorta joined the party here and there. Everyone likes a free lunch. .;

**Lethe - **a river of the Underworld. Forgetfulness. Drunk before one is rebirthed.

**Styx -** a river of the Underworld. Hate. Immortality. Apparently Achilles was dipped in this by his mother, except for his heel which was where she was holding him.

**Archeron -** a river of the Underworld. Pain.

**Tartarus - **essentially grecian version of Hell.

**Moirae -** the three fates Clothos (the spinner), **Lachesis** (the weaver/measurer), **Atropos** (the cutter/shearer)

**Icarus -** his inventor dad created wings to bust them out of prison. He was warned not to fly into the sun, but he did it anyways, causing his wings to melt, and so he drowned when he fell into the sea. Supposedly was based on when a king/noble escaped imprisonment and his son fell off their boat.


	4. Tale 8: Miles to Go Before I Sleep

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 8: Miles to Go Before I Sleep

.o0o.

**AN**: KakaNaruKaka. Naruto's 10~26ish over the course of this, pretty much gen. Thanks to smiley95 for the prompt! Sorta spoilers for a bit of the Pein arc. Credit to Robert Frost for title inspiration.

* * *

It's the fall festival and finally Naruto had a yukata so he could attend! He'd never had the money to buy one before, and the shopkeepers didn't want to rent one to him. But Jiji gave this nice one to him, a happy burnt-orange color with a pattern of yellow leaves, and told him to try to keep it clean, but not very seriously. Naruto just made a face at the old man, because the shopkeepers didn't think he could keep theirs clean either!, and promised that he would.

The festival was fantastic, like the streets dressed themselves up in fancy outfits too, and the air was full of the smells of food and laughter and the sun was bright.

And the earth was dusty.

Naruto coughs and picks himself up. He didn't see who pushed him, and he's not surprised that someone did, only. Only it's _festival_...

And he doesn't know why he hopes otherwise. Thankfully it's only dirt, and easy to dust off.

It's annoying getting dust in your eyes though.

He makes his way more carefully though the throng, and nobody looks at him and nobody throws things at him or hits him or kicks him, but it feels like they did. 'Cause they weren't moving around him like they moved around other people and other kids, didn't stop to say hello or perhaps to just smile. Their eyes slid off Jiji's gift and slid off his face like he wasn't even there, and he knew all those things the girls yelled at him at the Academy for, to 'dress nicer', were lies.

The blond wobbles as yet another person shoves past him like he didn't exist and he watches almost numbly as the drink in their hands tip towards him.

And then he is scooped away.

"Maa, what's this?" a voice asks playfully.

Naruto blinks open his eyes and realizes that they're on a roof, the festival like a heaving sea of color below them. He looks up and sees what must be a shinobi in a simple dark blue yukata, and the silver-haired man must be a shinobi because they're on a roof and he masks his face like he's seen some of the nin do, though none of the civilians. (Even though it's kinda strange that they guy covered so _much_ of his face, only a bit of skin around his right eye was showing, the rest was behind a mask or the strap of black cloth covering his other one.)

"A mute?" the man pokes at his cheek, then brushes a knuckle almost carelessly at the damp corner of Naruto's eye.

"Gah! Quit it!" Naruto slaps at the hand and swipes at his cheek with the heel of his hand. He adds, defensively, "A lot of dirt was being kicked up."

"Aa," the shinobi agrees, not looking at him. "The drumming's about to start, would you like me to set you back down?"

But they could see the stage that had been in the square from here, probably hear it pretty well too, so Naruto's not really sure why the guy's asking. "Nah, it's nice up here." He starts, with a thought, and peers at the shinobi cautiously, "Unless you, you want me to leave. I can do it on my own, easy, I've been practicing."

The blond sighs and walks towards the drainage pipe that he can hold onto, to slide down from the roof, but finds himself once again lifted and swung about. He's settled into a warm lap and Naruto tilts his head up to see that one eye smiling at him. "Who says you have to leave?"

Naruto opens his mouth to reply but the words get stuck in his throat. The truth makes him squirm, and he doesn't want to lie to the nice man.

The dark grey eye watching him becomes a little sadder as it sees his hands make fists, and the blond finds one of his hands snatched up and the fingers gently pried open.

A masked kiss falls into his palm.

"You don't have to go unless you want to."

"Oh... okay," Naruto whispers.

And they watch the drums and the dancing and the colorful festival goers as the night falls and they eat the bento that the grey-haired man pulls out from somewhere and when they part Naruto forgot to ask for his name, but he does ask, "Will I see you again?"

"Mmm," the shinobi looks at him, eye dull and faraway, "Perhaps. Maybe in a year."

He leaves Naruto with a cloth-covered kiss on his cheek and a swirl of air.

.o0o.

The next year Naruto's yukata is a bit shorter, but not by much, and it's easy for Ayame to let out the seams. He finds himself at one point swept up to a rooftop, but he isn't so surprised this time.

When he asks, "Will I see you again?"

The man answers, "Possibly. In a year." And leaves Naruto with a kiss on the other cheek and regretting that he still forgets to ask the guy his name.

.o0o.

"What's your name?"

"Mou, you're training to become a shinobi, ne? I hear you're graduating in a couple months."

The guy's doing this on purpose or something, Naruto thinks in disbelief.

"Ninja have to gather intel, you should get on that," and he leaves Naruto with a kiss on the forehead.

.o0o.

"From what I'd found out about you, I'd thought you'd been able to dodge the eraser," Naruto asks the next year, pointedly. He's wearing a new yukata, it was plain but it fit, and he'd bought it himself.

Kakashi takes a moment to stare blankly at him, then faint recognition flickers through his eye as he understands the question. He lifts his shoulder in the smallest shrug, "I was trying to teach myself to not avoid things."

Which is no answer at all, pretty much like the cloth-covered kiss that he left, that almost touches Naruto's mouth, but not quite.

And he avoids Naruto's eyes the entire time.

.o0o.

Jiraiya's...off. Somewhere. In the booths with the red lanterns and the high pitched giggles. Naruto rolls his eyes and strolls by himself in the streets. It's different here, the autumn festival's different here, lighter somehow. People are celebrating a harvest, and only a harvest. No one is silently celebrating a victory and mourning a defeat, and feeling conflicted about who, actually, won. No one is pretending not to know it was his birthday.

Naruto smiles and refuses to let it trickle off, and he immerses himself in the lightheartedness. He tells himself he's not waiting for anything, or anyone; he is not in Konoha.

There is a gathering in the village square of dragon costume dancers and fire throwing and music and Naruto tries to squeeze closer. There's not much room though, the entire area was pretty packed. Instinctively Naruto looks up, for a place a shinobi could get to easily but would stump a civilian and finds himself looking at a sliver of face and an eye upturned in a smile.

It takes half a second to hop to that roof. It takes longer for Naruto to get his mouth working. Sorta.

"Eeeeh?"

"I was passing through." Kakashi says helpfully.

Naruto looks around him. It still does not look like Konoha. He turns to the guy in disbelief.

Kakashi hums and looks at the heaving village square idly. Naruto looks at him for a bit, opening his mouth, then shuts it and looks too, to see if something was important there.

They quietly watch the dragon dancers, their shoulders touching, the posing monster and the mock battles and the fake deaths.

"I don't like the fall." Kakashi suddenly says.

Naruto starts to feel all squirmy in his stomach and was opening his mouth to apologize but the silver-haired man cuts him off.

"Things...happen. In the fall. And I'm the only one who's left to remember them," he says, as if it's supposed to make sense, "And they never seemed to stop happening. And then. _You_ happened."

There was a wealth of meaning in those last two words, in the way Kakashi's eye flickers towards his stomach, in the anguish and memories passing behind that look, in the way that he reaches over and pulls Naruto into his arms and leans his chin on Naruto's head, and then relaxes. Completely.

And Naruto feels like he's missing a lot of things that Kakashi's trying and failing to say out loud, but what he knows is enough. He knows that the silver-haired man didn't think it was his fault, and didn't want to let him go.

He likes that he wasn't being let go, yet.

He knows it will last only as long as the festival lasts. (He's left with a kiss buried into his hair.)

.o0o.

"Yo."

"Hey. You made it."

"...Konoha was quiet."

Naruto blinks. He's not sure how they went from hello's to a comment on Konoha's noise level, but he'll go with it. "Well it's not quiet here, is it?" He waves at the large bustling port town; their harvest festival smells of fish, but it's the biggest he'd ever seen.

"No, it's not quiet here," Kakashi agrees. He runs his hand through Naruto's hair and Naruto leans into it briefly, then shakes him off to pull his arms toward the dango stand.

"You _have _to try these! And I don't even _like_ dango, usually! We should get a few sticks before the performances start!"

"Okay."

His cheek is sticky at the end of the night and he's busy making a face and trying to rub at it when he realizes that Kakashi had to have taken off his mask, for it to be sticky. And then he slaps his own forehead for not looking when the mask was down.

.o0o.

Despite, or because, of the big hole in the middle of Konoha, the harvest festival roars, almost feverish. People celebrate loud, and very drunk, and he keeps getting slaps on his back and greetings. It's probably the oddest thing ever, and Naruto doesn't feel like he's at a festival in Konoha.

He hides himself eventually in the shadows of several overhanging eaves, with a good view of the main festival street; the square where the festivities were usually held is still only a crater.

He finds himself with company, after only a couple minutes.

"You... didn't come last year," Naruto asks, quietly.

Kakashi sits next to him, not too close, "I didn't think that you'd want to see me."

Naruto squawks and shoves himself into the guy's face, "The hell made you think that?"

Arms slowly rises up around him, questioningly, and he sinks into the man's lap with a sigh. "The way you reacted when I said I liked you," Kakashi admits.

He tenses. The arms tensed around him too.

"That wasn't," Naruto has to push the words out, "The first time anyone has ever said that to me."

Kakashi peers at him in question.

"They usually laughed, after."

Cloth covered kisses drops on his eyes, and held there, and when the silver-haired nin raises his face there's wet spots on his mask. Naruto coughs, and twists to watch the street.

"Also, um, it's kinda different, isn't it 'sensei', when it's not festival?" he adds pointedly.

"Aa." Kakashi agrees. They spend the rest of it companionably, like there'd never been a break.

Naruto closes his eyes when the moon's edging in, and the Copy Nin's about to go, and he feels the uncovered kiss land just under his jaw. He darts his hands up and holds Kakashi's head in place, before he could withdraw.

"Leave a mark," he demands.

He hums a question against Naruto's skin, and the blond shivers.

"If you meant what you'd said, if you like me for more than just one day, give me something I can look at tomorrow."

For a long, long time there was nothing, and he thinks he will be refused, but then the lips move and there was a tingling suction,_ hard_, and the feel of teeth, like a promise.

.o0o.

It was a long journey, he thinks, even though they'd met when he was ten. It took the passing years, and questions that grew and changed; as 'the grey-haired man' became 'Kakashi', and the kisses became uncovered and slouched their lazy way towards his lips.

"Hokage-sama."

"Eeeh?" Blue eyes peers over a richly-robed shoulder, the folds of the cloth puddling carelessly around them.

"I think your ANBU are scaring the shop owners," that one eye's smiling.

"Tch. You're the one that chose this roof," the blond-haired man snorts, fond.

"Aa." The nin tugs his Hokage even more snugly into his lap. "I suppose I did."

The leader of the village laughs and settles back into his shinobi's arms, satisfied. They watch the fireworks splash across the night sky.

There are plans to return to their bedroom after the last bit of ash falls; he'd finally gotten the slippery man to move in.

* * *

_end._

* * *

AN: ::wiggles happily:: =D

Also, dunno how obvious it was, but Kakashi was the foxwife this turn.


	5. Tale 9: The Emperors New Clothes

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 9: The Emperor's New Clothes

.o0o.

**AN:** KakaNaruKaka. Naruto's 23ish? Hijinks. Thanks to romantiscue for audiencing and Wingwyrm for pinging me onto Iruka! XD

**Warnings:** None, pretty much gen.

* * *

_Iruka._

_Sandaime-sama. ...is there something wrong?_

_I appreciate the thought, and your kindness, but would have to ask you to cease and desist._

_But it's just—_

_That's an order._

_Hokage-sama, with all due respect, I can't take him out _shopping_?_

.o0o.

"No Naruto, you need to get new clothes."

"Whyyyy," he whines, seriously he hates shopping, hated it ever since he was little and Jii-san dragged him to what seemed like every single store in Konoha.

"Idiot." Sakura grabs his arms and pulls him forward, "We're not gonna let our Hokage look stupid. Here, try this on." And shoves several blue shirts at him.

He grimaces and puts them back; blue makes him look prissy and Konoha does not need a prissy-looking Hokage either. _Also, why was she giving him more than one shirt! They all look the same!_

"It's kinda stupid how strong you are when you still don't know how to even dress yourself," Ino mutters with disgust, "Honestly, that shade of orange washes you out so much that the black doesn't even help much. And everything you wear sags on you!"

"I'm surprised that you two haven't thrown out his clothes yet," Kiba jeers, who'd mostly come along to watch Naruto's humiliation.

"Actually, I have," Sakura mutters.

"Hey, you too?" Ino pokes at her, and she shrugs.

"Yeah, I figured he'd come whining to me and I could take him out for clothes."

"I just thought that _anything else _would be better." Ino blew at her bangs, "but he just showed up the next day with the same outfit."

"Eeh?" _When the hell...?_

"Hey Naruto, how'd you get them back?" Ino peers at him.

"Yeah, how did you find them?" Sakura swings him around to stare, "You're not exactly the best tracker."

"They were _missing_?" He asks cluelessly.

Both girls just smack their heads, then look at each other and chorus, "Naruto."

They return to browsing.

_Oh hey. _Naruto picks up the t-shirt and pokes at Sakura, "What about this?"

"You can't be serious."

"It's a 'different' orange! I thought Ino just said that shades matter!"

"You were_ listening_?" "It's still the same color!"

Ino doesn't need a reply 'cause she's just silly if she thinks Naruto isn't awesome enough to multitask; and as for Sakura, "Hey! Orange is an _awesome _color."

"Yeah, if you want to _blind_ people."

Naruto catches sight of Neji passing by and hauls him into the shop, and Hinata-chan follows her cousin in. Clearly if anyone knows anything about seeing things it'd be Hyuuga, "Hinata, Neji, do I blind you?"

They blink at him in that spacey way that Hyuuga do. It kinda makes them look dumb and makes Naruto worry a bit about their clan inbreeding too much; it's something he's going to have to look into when he officially gets the hat.

"...it would make it easier to keep track of Hokage-sama." Neji finally says.

Hinata whispers something like, "You'd always blind me Naruto," but that can't be right.

"There's more orange in that shop over there," Kakashi points out helpfully.

_Gyah!_

It's only with a lot of training and exposure to his sneaky jerk of a sensei that Naruto doesn't jump. Shikamaru totally pops his head out from behind the pylon to stare in surprise though. (He's fairly sure the guy's stalking Ino ever since he'd heard that Sai complimented her. It's kinda cute.)

"Thanks!" Naruto cheers and goes over to check.

"Kakashi-sensei, _what are you __doing?_" Knuckles crack.

"He likes orange?" the man weakly replies, and Naruto bets if he sees the white-haired nin that he'd have that wince-y smile on his face. Well, quarter of a face.

"We're trying to get him to look _better_! Stop encouraging him!"

"A-aa..."

_Heh, let him deal with the girls, _Naruto thinks, and riffles through the pile of orange. _Hmm, Ino talked like the black was good. How about..._

.o0o.

_No,__ Iruka, you can't take him shopping._

_But- But _why_?_

_..._

_..._

_...National Security._

What?

.o0o.

Naruto finds himself eventually with a compromise, black tank top with thin orange stripes down the sides, elbow-length armored mesh gloves, and low-slung dark burnt-orange pants that were kinda baggy.

"I feel like my pants are gonna fall off." Naruto squirms a little, stretching. "And is this shirt supposed to be this tight?"

"Y-yes." Sakura stutters.

"Holy god yes." Ino enthuses, wildly red.

Naruto would think that whatever weird thing Hinata's got was catching except Hinata's pretty much frozen and pale instead of red and stuttery.

DOINK.

"HAHA, god Kiba," Naruto crows, "Elite ninja my ASS; what sorta shinobi runs into a POLE?"

Naruto forgives the civilians though, it's not like they've as much training, and people seem to be tripping a lot today. He bets Konohamaru's playing some prank or other, he should go yell at him for not inviting Naruto along.

.o0o.

When Naruto had been fifteen, and learning nature chakra, Kakashi had realized there was a problem. It was even, he'd thought ruefully, glancing down at the hard-on straining his parts, a somewhat bigger than average problem. It was a very surprisingly hot, wet, and half-naked student kind of problem, the kind that was its very own half-naked harem. The kind of problem that turn straight men sideways, Kakashi had thought, glancing at 'Tenzou'.

"Tenzou, concentrate."

"I _am,_" came the distracted reply.

"On your jutsu."

"Oh. Right."

Clearly the Sandaime was on to something when he'd picked the boy's clothes. Their shade of orange was that sort of radioactive color that seemed to _move _when stared at for more than a second, jiggling up and down. It was the type of color that gave you a headache and yelled in your ear and stayed in your eye no matter how much you wanted to forget it.

It was possibly why the blond liked it so much. (It was probably why Kakashi liked it so much too.)

It's also, clearly, very vital to Kakashi's Long Term Plans to keep Naruto in that orange for a little while longer. 'Cause otherwise 'problems' other than his might go 'knocking' on the boy's 'door'.

So to speak.

(Its not that the Copy Nin does not have any hopes and dreams, he does. However they all involve sex and porn and are thus completely inappropriate for young and might-not-even-make-genin ears.)

.o0o.

Kakashi now follows the small parade of the younger generation of nin, though it wasn't difficult. They were leaving a wrecked trail of shocked villagers, civilian and ninja both.

Even in Naruto's group, Sakura and Ino's mouths have not yet really fully closed. The Hyuuga... well, Hinata appears to be trying desperately not to pass out, if only so she could stare longer, and Neji's discreetly wiping his nose. Kiba appears to be having a crisis of sexuality and Shikamaru looks less bored and more thoughtful, while Chouji, who've just arrived, has just dropped his chips. And those were only Naruto's year.

Izumo's pulling Kotetsu in for a closer look, and he could swear that's Genma shadowing the group. He even catches sight of several ANBU, who probably drifted by to check out the disturbance, _not leaving_ like they were supposed to.

Kakashi looks around dully, miffed, sighs. And slips forward rapidly, taking the extra two steps way, _way_ into the blond's personal space. He reaches out to curl his gloved hand over Naruto's shoulder and catches those blue eyes.

"You're really leaving me with no choice are you? I'd wanted to take it slow."

"Whu—?"

"They were very creative with their repeated attempts at throwing out your old clothes," he mutters then perks up, "Luckily I found the wholesale suppliers."

"You _what_?"

"And its too easy getting into your apartment. You are either really oblivious or really trusting," he takes a look at Naruto's face. "Maybe both," he amends.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto blinks at him, but still doesn't seem to understand. Or to move away.

"I'm probably being too subtle for you," he sighs.

And Kakashi tugs at his mask.

.o0o.

Naruto opens his mouth to retort in reply but the words skitter to a stop in his throat as he watches Kakashi pull his mask down to his chin, in the middle of the fucking _street_, in front of the Saturday market.

Everything seems to go quiet. Then he realizes that its because everyone in the street did, actually, shut up for once, to gape.

_He's fucking gorgeous, _Naruto thinks vaguely, as the silver-haired man leans in and pauses, looking at him closely. He finds his breathing become very shaky.

_Oh god,_ Naruto thinks, _he's going to kiss me,_ and the blond can't seem to make himself move away. Or to stop looking.

Kakashi hums and catches at his open mouth in a shallow kiss, lips gently caressing his, but going no deeper. It was lingering. It was calm. It was patient.

It was.

During their training journey, Jiraiya had pushed him at several girls to dinner and date and bring back to his room, for purposes of training (_and your own 'research',_ the toad sage had said with a leer.) And Naruto found it much like the pervy-sage's books: kinda boring. He'd figured it was because none of them were Sakura.

He wonders, muzzily, if he isn't entirely off about that, breath short, senses tingling, amazed.

Kakashi gives a teasing lick to his lower lip and leans back, and Naruto finds himself following, just a bit, but stops himself, face feeling really hot. The man looks at him for a moment.

"Ramen?" he then asks, cheerily.

Naruto thinks he agrees, probably. _Gorgeous_. And fucking _hell _the guy just _kissed _him. (_Kiss him back, kiss him back! _his dick demands.)

Kakashi turns to glare at the street in general, very dangerous looking, bare-faced and ridiculously beautiful.

"Dibs." he states, firmly, and loud enough to carry.

"_Eeeeh_?"

"Well, do you mind?" The silver-haired man turns to him with an eyebrow raised in question.

Naruto attempts to think about it very seriously. But its kinda hard with _that face fuckinghell_ looking at him. "You're paying for the ramen," he states finally, mustering all of the control that he'd scrounged up over the years, "And I get to call 'dibs' back."

"Fair enough."

Nobody moves, as they leave for Ichiraku, shocky. _ Meh, they'll get over it, _Naruto thinks virtuously, _it's not like they'd just kissed the guy and had to scrape their brains off the pavement._

.o0o.

Iruka skids into the market. Takes a look around, and grabs Sakura by the shoulders.

"You took him _SHOPPING_?" he yells, shaking her.

* * *

_end._

* * *

AN: lololololol. XD Both foxwife, at the same time. I was laughing so hard as I was writing this... though I dunno if the humor translated? Did I make you laugh too? =D


	6. Tale 10: Breadcrumbs

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 10: Breadcrumbs

.o0o.

**AN: **KakaNaruKaka. Naruto's 26.

**Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns Naruto, the bitch.

**Warnings:** Er. Sorta het? Sorta explicit? XD It's all in the first paragraph tho.

* * *

"...and she moaned as Kentaro thrust into her, thighs shaking with the effort of balancing on the railing, and the chill wind teasing at where they were so so hot. No one had better look up, Yukia thought, or at least they better have enough self preservation to shut the hell-"

"That never happened." Kakashi blinked his eye open slowly and coughed.

"Kakashi!" There was a flurry of orange next to him and then his head was carefully raised. His mask was brushed upwards from his neck and what felt like a cup pressed against his mouth. He drank, slowly, mouth feeling like something almost died around it.

Something like himself.

He coughed again, swallowing all the cotton, and repeated himself, "That never happened." He glanced up and met blue eyes, filled with worry and relief and no little amount of consternation, that flicked away as the blond shifted his mask back into place.

"You ass. MIA for three weeks, collapse at Konoha's gates after everyone else thinks you're dead, go into a coma for a nearly a fucking month, and the first thing out of your mouth is-" And then Naruto blushed wildly.

"Is pointing out the fact that that never happened, in Jiraiya's last book," Kakashi said calmly. "And it's not anything else that he would have written."

"How would you know that?" the blond asked, blank-faced.

"One, Jiraiya's publishers would've gotten their hands on it and printed it already. Two, it's not in his style. And three," he stretched a little, testingly.

"Three...?" Naruto prompted.

Kakashi yanked the blond into the bed and twisted, so that Kakashi was pinning him to the mattress. "Three, you wouldn't have nearly been so embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed!"

His hands were full of olive skin and muscled wrists, that were straining a bit, so Kakashi felt excused to press his nose pointedly into Naruto's cheek. "Your face is warm," he said playfully.

The young man wiggled under him, which was nice except that it was an uncomfortable wiggle and not a happy one, "Ka—"

"I liked your story. I heard enough while I was under." Kakashi interrupted, as seriously as he could. "You wrote it didn't you? When I was... in that coma."

"No I didn't!"

He grinned then, eye curling, "Then you wrote it when I was still MIA?"

"Umm..." Blue eyes didn't meet his.

"You wrote it," and Kakashi leaned in close so that his covered mouth was right by Naruto's ear, softly, "To lure me back home? And then whispered it into my ear when I wouldn't wake up?"

"Well it's like the only thing you give a rat's ass about!" The blond shouted, bitterness laced in his words, heaving himself up, and Kakashi tightened his grip.

"Not the only thing," he corrected.

"But—"

Kakashi leaned his forehead against Naruto's, "Not the only thing."

Disbelief, "You lia—"

The kiss could've been better without his mask; but Kakashi didn't want to let go.

* * *

_end_

* * *

AN: Written in response to mod's challenge at the kakanaru livejournal. XD Kakashi's foxwife again. Also it cracks me up alot that Naruto's writing fanfic. There's a reason why Naruto's 26, which I may post in another ficlet if there's enough interest.

As usual, have a prompt? Ping me it in a review and I'll get to it eventually when I need a break from writing other stuff. ^_^


	7. Tale 11: Meditations on NotFailing

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 11: Meditations on the act of Not-Failing

.o0o.

**AN**: NaruKakaNaru. Naruto's various ages, but the relationship happens when he's like 16.5.

So there was this challenge in the KakaNaru LJ comm...And it was only supposed to be one sentence per prompt. But I failed at it... BECAUSE I WROTE TOO MUCH. And I repost because I think they turned out rather well, and 'cause they worked out into a single universe. The prompts were: **sunshine, regret, desire, death, white, road.**

**Warnings:** NC-17, hops around time-wise, a lot of story between the cracks.

* * *

**(road)**

"Kakashi."

"Yo." He gave a lazy wave towards Asuma, not taking his eye from the training field.

"Shouldn't you be like, training them?"

"And what of yours?"

"They're on a gardening D-rank, I left a shadow clone with them." Asuma tilted his head at the trio by the bridge, pointedly, "They look bored. Again, shouldn't you be training them?"

Kakashi wanted to sigh, but he just slouched further. Muttered, "Sasuke's pretty much chunin level already. Sakura has chunin level chakra control and essentially can't take advantage of it until she decides to stop starving herself and realizes that Sasuke doesn't like weakness."

The other jounin raised an eyebrow at him, "And Naruto?"

"Naruto's a very short road," he admitted, internally cringing but hoping that saying it outloud might help. Or at least provoke Asuma into properly smacking him upside the head since clearly smacking *himself* hadn't been helping.

"A wha?"

"A very short, orange, _underage_ road... to hell."

"Kakashi, you can't be saying—"

"Hmm. He is, unfortunately, your type," Gai butted in, from a quiet Dynamic Entry, his face a grand parody of pondersome thoughts. "And while your flames of youth burn brightly, his is decidedly and uncomfortably more youthful still."

"I know," he replied, uneasy but not even twitching, though unable to stop his nails from digging into his palm.

"You," Gai paused, with a slight concerned grimace, "shouldn't smother his springtime."

"I *know*," he insisted. "And _your_ genin?" Kakashi asked roughly with an eyebrow raised.

"Doing laps," Gai smiled, and wagged his finger, "And don't insinuate or change the topic, you know that Lee is like a son to me."

He did, but he couldn't help trying. Kakashi held back a sigh and glanced at Asuma who'd been oddly silent. The man was staring at the blond.

"Asuma?"

"...you know, I'd never taken a close look, but he really does take after the best parts of his parents doesn't he?"

"His mother was very pretty," Gai opinioned.

"And to hear the women say it, so was his father, if that's your type," Asuma added, then smacked Kakashi across the shoulder, "Buck up, you poor sod. Wait a couple years and see where it goes."

"And in the meantime?" Kakashi asked petulantly, they watched as Naruto yell at Sasuke only to get brushed off, and talk at Sakura only to get ignored or hit, and watched his face fall, and then watched his face firm up and smile again. And Kakashi can't help but let out a little sigh; and it was utterly, completely, stupid-sounding.

Like he was some _girl_.

With a _crush_.

He would be mortified but he was too busy being appalled at himself for perving over his cute little student.

"In the meantime," Gai said slowly, "I think, my Rival, that you should make good friends with your hands." Pause. Ping! Thumbs up! "Nay! _Eternal_ Friends."

Asuma had to stifle his laughter into a series of quiet coughs.

Only the fact that he did not want to alert his genin (and his crush) to their presence kept Kakashi from shoving both the other jounin right off the tree.

* * *

**(regret)**

"Um. Hinata-chan. About what you said, like, in front of Pain—"

"N-naruto." She began, then took a deep breath, and said steadily, chin as high and as firm as she could hold it, "I meant every word."

"But. But _why_? I mean, thank you and you were awesome but." The blond looked a little lost, a little confused. "I could've taken the hit. You didn't need to, Hinata-chan."

"I would have regretted it if you died and I could've prevented it." She said, softly, "You showed me how to try to live bravely, without regret."

"I... showed you? How to live without regret."

"Yes." Hinata smiled, warm, "I love you for it." Then she found herself surprised by how distant Naruto looked, at the way he shifted his eyes and looked nervous, at how his sigh sounded disgusted at himself. It. It was the first time that. That she actually felt that Naruto wasn't taller than he actually was. She blinked.

And then Naruto threw his shoulders back. "Okay! Okay." He sucked in a breath like he was preparing to shout, his chest expanding with it, "I need to tell... well but later... soon." Then he smiled, bright, "Thanks Hinata-chan, for, well, pointing that out. Um, but, sorry?" The blond scratched his head sheepishly, "I kinda, already, um, likesomeoneelsesorry."

Hinata could barely make out the last bit, but it didn't entirely surprise her, "Um, I," she clenches her teeth briefly, then lets it go, blinks fast away the wetness, "I wish you well with Sakura then."

"AHhahaHEH," the nervous laughter was horribly inconsistent and not helped at all by the fact that Naruto's voice broke in the middle of it. He coughed. "Um, yeah, not her. Though I kinda wish it was." And he kind of just looked at his feet, but then his eyes were drawn towards the tree line. Towards a particular training ground. Towards a particular stone.

_Towards...Kakashi-san?_ Hinata blinked again.

_But that's... kind of... dirty_, she can't help but think.

"May I watch?" she asked.

* * *

**(white)**

"KAKASHI!" Iruka roars.

The guy blanches, bone pale, but holds steady. "Mmmm?"

"EXPLAIN YOURSELF."

"A-aa."

"I *cannot* for the life of me read your reports! This is UNACCEPTABLE." Iruka shakes the papers disgustedly at Kakashi's face, which slowly regains color with every word.

Naruto tries not to snort, and butts in, "Hey Iruka! Ramen?" He bounces in what people tell him is an adorable way, which always makes him frown alittle, but hey he'll use what works, "My treat!"

"Oh, Naruto, yeah sure, I just have to go set these down." Iruka turns toward the mission office, "Give me a moment."

He peers at Kakashi when they were alone, "You know, we really should tell him."

The guy just sweats a little, and tries to be all sneaky at locating all the exits, "Umm."

"And I know it's not like you're *ashamed* of me, right?" Naruto might feel a little bad with how much he knows this is not true, what with the way Kakashi kept groping him in front of their peers, but the guy's being all twitchy around Iruka and for the life of him he doesn't understand why. 'Cause like underneath all the yelling and the being red-in-the-face was... hmm, well a little more yelling and nagging, but, well, alot of concern! Really, Iruka's just _nice_, and yeah just a little overprotective, but that's nothing to be afraid of right? Right.

"Naruto, you know I'm not." Kakashi's eye slides towards him in a way that looked only a little concerned, but the way that his eye slides away again as he blushes a little totally gives away how much he's invested, and how much the nin feels he's leaving himself open with that statement. And doing it anyway.

"Glad we're on the same page," Naruto grins and gropes his ass.

And of course Iruka totally has awesome timing. "NARUTO," he hisses, head growing large, and shoving them apart. He points a pointy finger at Kakashi, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT'S BEEN."

Kakashi's all trying to do that thing where he tries to blend with the scenery, and totally fails because he's Sharingan no Kakashi so people automatically watch him, and Iruka just levels a stare at Naruto while watching the guy from the corner of his eye.

"Yes I totally do," he stares down Iruka and Iruka all does that 'silently asking a question thing' and Naruto tries hard to say, 'Fucking hell yes, I'm sure,' right back.

And Iruka narrows his eyes, but nods finally, and claps a hand to his shoulder. "Well then! Ramen?"

"Yup!" And they turn to walk towards Ichiraku's, but Kakashi's all drifting slightly behind as if unsure of his welcome so Naruto grabs his vest and drags the guy forward.

"So Kakashi," Iruka begins, giving the gray-haired shinobi the hairy eyeball. "I'm assuming that you're aware that White Day is coming up?"

"Yes, and the present is all ready," Kakashi promptly answers, standing very straight, like he was giving a report or something.

Naruto blinks, then flails at Iruka. "HEY. Why are you all assuming that _I'm_ the girl?"

Iruka just blinks back, "I'm wrong?"

"Well... it's not 100% of the time!"

"But _you_ gave Kakashi chocolate on Valentine's Day, I'm guessing."

"It's not like _he's_ gonna give it!"

Iruka just smiles.

"SHADDUP."

* * *

**(sunshine)**

"What are you doing?" Kakashi says, peeking down once he's caught his breath, the afternoon sun through the trees dappling everything in a peek-a-boo of shadow and of light.

"Tasting the sunlight," Naruto replies cheekily, tongue darting out here and there against the Copy Nin's chest.

Kakashi chuckles, "You're insatiable."

"Oh like you mind," Naruto snorts.

"I suppose I don't," he murmurs in reply, his eye closing with this force of his leer, his leg hooking up comfortably around the blond's hips again.

(It was really too nice an afternoon to spend indoors in bed. The grass served just as well.)

* * *

**(desire)**

"Kakashi~i~i, come onnnnnn."

"No." Squirmy, shifty.

"But it'd be fun!"

"Naruto, I'm not going to let you eat hot ramen off my naked body." Disconcerted.

"But whyyyy?" Pouting.

"...I'm pretty sure I'd be scalded by the soup."

"Lies. You _asked_ for the hot wax." Wheedling.

"They're not the same temperature." The blush was audible in his tone.

"Hmmph. Hey Sakura, are they the same temperature?"

She raised her face from her hands and glared at him. "I've never wanted to punch you in the face so badly as I do Right This Moment." You could hear a pin drop in the restaurant. Everyone was staring at their table.

Well everyone usually stared because that's what you get when your teammate is Hokage and you yourself is famous throughout the ninja world for being able to punch their Hokage Monument in a fit of rage, and _win_.

But they're all staring right now for another reason entirely and when she glanced at Kakashi-sensei, his face was nearly purple from how much he was flushed, eye huge.

"It's not like you're _chained to the dobe_," Sasuke finally piped up, disgustedly, and shook his manacled right hand a little at her, meaningfully.

"Oh you shut up." Sakura snorted, "Security reasons and you're entirely responsible for it."

"_But they didn't stop._" He gritted out.

"Stop... what?"

"I know _entirely too much_ about what he meant with 'hot wax'."

Which was when Sakura keeled right over. (They tried to make her pay for the cleanup needed from the blood splatter; she just threw the bill onto Naruto's desk.)

* * *

**(death)**

"You," Naruto gasped, "Absolutely suck."

"Mou, I don't have the control for that," Kakashi corrected, "Yet." He sped up the hand he'd had around the blond's cock. "But I remember how to make you come in less than 5 minutes like this. Let's go with that."

Kakashi watched as those strong tanned thighs shook with the effort of staying still, and played lightly around the slit of Naruto's dick just the way the man liked it. It was much easier now that he can see through his hand.

"You know," he mentioned softly into his Hokage's ear; Kakashi'd curled himself, insubstantial, around the blond and through the blond's bed, "With enough practice I may still be able to fuck you. That would look interesting though, wouldn't it?"

"Nnngh!" Naruto arched, eyes wild, and came.

The new lines that grief etched onto his face didn't make him any less beautiful, Kakashi thought. And, its kind of convenient that he'd never have to deal with the cleanup.

There was not many perks to being a ghost, but he'll take what he could get.

* * *

_...end? _

* * *

AN: I figure it stands alone, I'll make proper note of it if I end up writing more in this universe.


	8. Tale 12: Meditations on NotSpeaking

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 12: Meditations on the art of Not-Speaking

.o0o.

**AN:** NaruKakaNaru. Naruto's various ages, but the relationship first happens when he's around 16.5.

There were more challenges in the KakaNaru LJ comm and I decided to stick them in the same universe as the previous set. The prompts were: **rain, family, surprise, wet, mask.**

**Warnings: **reaaaally NC-17 for a couple of them, hops around time-wise, a lot of story between the cracks, 'surprise' is kinda kinky.

* * *

**(mask)**

"You know, I don't know who he thinks he's kidding." Asuma muttered, looking back down at the shoji board.

"Oh?" Shikimaru glanced up and around. From the noise he'd guess that Naruto was back from his several-year-long trip. And there, off in the distance, so he was, bookended by one of the Sanin and Sharingan no Kakashi, who had his nose in a new book.

Hmm. Mostly, had his nose in a new book. When the blond wasn't looking, the Copy Nin kept sneaking glances over at the teen. It could have meant only one of ten possible things, most of which were discarded due to the circumstances and the fact that Shikamaru was pretty sure that the man's team was one of the few things that the notoriously distant Hatake gave a shit about. The last option indicated a level of interest that, well, in any normal person would be either more obvious or at least present itself as more warm and concerned. But, then, shinobi were not known for normality. And Kakashi was an elite shinobi.

"Really?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at his jounin sensei.

Asuma just nodded and rolled his eyes.

"Tch, how troublesome."

"Don't even," Asuma shook his cigarrette at him, "You didn't have to be there to drag him out of the bar two and a half years ago."

"But I'm going to have be there when Naruto freaks out."

"It's not gonna be that bad, is it?"

"He hasn't even figured out that he'd had a crush on the Uchiha."

"...Damn."

"_Troublesome_."

* * *

**(family)**

Naruto hummed, checking on everything on the stove, not even bothering to turn around when he heard the window close 'cause he'd recognized Kakashi's footstep. There was an in-drawn breath behind him and he smiled as he scooped the rice into the bowls, only flicking a quick grin backwards.

Kakashi took the bait, running his gloved hand down the skin of his naked back and then played at the strings of his apron, tied above the curve of his ass, in a bow.

"Should I ask why you're in nothing but this?"

"Maaaybe," he laughed shortly, then grimaced a little, "Figures you'd forget our anniversary."

Something bopped gently against his forehead, and Naruto blinked.

"I don't forget important things," Kakashi chided, swinging a necklace so that it's pendant kept twacking him. Naruto almost went cross-eyed trying to look at it and the silver-haired man just chuckled and dropped it around his neck. He relaxed at the feel of it (and, he quietly admitted to himself, at the proof that Kakashi didn't forget).

It was nice having something there again, after having broken the Shodaime's crystal, though for the life of him Naruto couldn't figure out what the pendant was. It looked like some sort of metal.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Mmm, when I had my father's sword reforged they had to remove a bit, to make the join stronger."

"Oh," he fingered at the necklace, throat uncomfortable. "I just... made dinner."

The other guy wrapped him up all tight and rested his chin on Naruto's head, "Did you know that my mother died early?"

"No, but what does that have to do with—"

"My father was very busy, with the wars."

"And what does that—"

A gloved hand rose to press over his mouth. "Thank you Naruto, for making dinner." The next words came so quietly he'd barely heard them, "The only other person to do that for me was my sensei... your father."

A kiss was pressed into his hair, and it was just the littlest bit wobbly.

"_Tadaima_." Kakashi said suddenly, as if just remembering, moving away from Naruto and towards the table.

"_Okaerinasai_." Naruto choked out, coughed, turned to bring the plates of the rest of the dishes. "I. I hope it's okay, I just tried to follow the recipes from the book."

"It'll be fine," Kakashi's eye curled up in a grin, and he tugged down his mask and took off his gloves, and passed Naruto a pair of chopsticks.

* * *

AN: the english translations didn't work, because I think there's too much cultural meaning in the greetings...

Tadaima = I'm home.

Okaerinasai = Welcome home. (Traditional response to 'tadaima.')

* * *

**(surprise) **

Kakashi almost dropped the plates as they stumbled into the kitchen, Naruto attacking his neck with his mouth while walking backwards with their dirty utensils and glasses, and it was a damn good thing they were both shinobi or something would've been broken and then someone would've sliced their feet open and that would've completely spoiled the mood.

It was honestly hard to concentrate on the food throughout the meal, and it wasn't as if it was bad (the food was surprisingly competent and edible), but the blond was sitting across from him in _nothing but an apron_. And both Kakashi's eye and hands wandered and it was a near thing that he didn't just throw Naruto onto their table and fuck him silly across the surface.

Another day, maybe.

Having set the dishes down, Kakashi spun the blond against the counter and leaned him against it.

Naruto just leered, braced his hands to either side, and widened his stance, "Skip the oil."

"So eager," he murmured, but slid his hand under the apron's skirt, drawing a playful wiggle up the inner thigh and giving a friendly grope at the blond's balls before tracing back with two fingers and firmly in.

"Ohh," Naruto groaned, and leaned into it, "_More_."

"Already?"

"Yes."

He obligingly slid a third finger in, to the sound of the teen's pleasured whine, an eyebrow mentally raised. Even with the blond's healing factored in, going that fast should have been more than a little uncomfortable. It cemented a suspicion that he'd been having for the past year that they've been sleeping together, "Like a bit of pain?"

"I'm not a _girl_." Naruto protested, face red.

"I'm not saying you are, and that's not what I was asking," he replied easily, "It's alright you know, shinobi tend to be... wired a little differently." He glanced at the counter behind the younger nin and smirked; ignored Naruto's sound of protest when he pulled his fingers out and hauled the blond's hips in. Ah! He stifled a moan into Naruto's hair as their erections met; it'd almost *hurt* that there was something separating them so he yanked his pants open with Naruto's help and then pushed the apron aside to grind against skin.

_Amazing_, Kakashi thought, eye almost closing at even such 'simple' sensations, still kind of surprised that he was allowed to do this after so long just making-do with fantasies. A tanned hand curled around both their cocks, delicious, while Kakashi occupied his hands with a little project on the countertop behind.

"Eeeh? What are you doing?" Naruto was turning his head to look but Kakashi just ducked in to catch his mouth and attention.

It made the blond snort and pry his face away with both hands, then whine petulantly, "Stop trying to distract me!"

"Mou, it's a surprise," he leered, finishing up the last bit of shaping by feel and, not bothering to wipe off the juices first, brought his hands to the younger man's ass. Kakashi then pet the curve of it gently, to Naruto's pleased hum, and then slipped his slightly damp fingers down the crack to spread the cheeks apart.

Naruto hissed, "What the— That kinda... burns."

He just hummed in response and considered Naruto's face and the feel of Naruto's body in his arms. There was a grimace twisting the blond's expression, but he's pushing into his fingers, instead of away.

"You like surprises, right?" Kakashi asked playfully.

"That depends on the sur—aaargghhh!" It was a groan and a scream and a wail and the teen practically _climbed_ up the Copy Nin when he pressed the shaved and shaped ginger buttplug up into him. "The fuck is _that_?"

"Ginger," he responded, bracing himself as Naruto squirmed against him wildly, olive arms a death grip around his neck, and Kakashi wrapped his hands against the blond's back and felt the muscles jumping jumping jumping. A sheen of sweat had already broken out across that tanned skin and he practically glowed under the kitchen's lights.

"Fucking _hell_, it _burns_," Naruto practically sobbed out, "Why the _fuck_ did you_ do_ that?"

And Kakashi tried not to grin too widely, "I notice you're still hard. And you've been humping me for the past little while."

Whatever the blond was about to say got choked back as his body everywhere tensed up from sheepishness. Then Naruto let out a deep heartfelt sobbing moan, pressed into Kakashi's neck.

"If you clench around it, it's only gonna burn more," Kakashi murmured helpfully.

"Shut the hell up." Naruto's whole body was trembling and he sounded like he couldn't catch his breath.

"You could pull it out," he suggested, and blue eyes darted up to meet his gaze, "Or ask me to pull it out."

And the blond's mouth opened.

And then closed.

"Thought so." And Kakashi sank to his knees and took him in his mouth and peered upwards lazily until the younger man took the hint and fucked into his throat with a strangled cry. It made him squint into a smile and bring his hands up to play, one palm teasing at the skin of Naruto's balls and the fingers of the other hand working their way up to partner with the ginger, squeezing at the rootspice to release still more of the burning juice, cramming yet a third, then a fourth finger in, and sounds cracked out of Naruto, utterly breathless; he _pulsed _around Kakashi's fingers, hard, and then rammed down Kakashi's throat as he came.

He swallowed and pulled away, mouth and hands and ginger, smiling, a bit dazed from lack of air but very pleased with himself. Naruto collapsed downward, straight into Kakashi's lap, panting like he'd just had a very long fight.

Lobbing the ginger into the sink, Kakashi let himself fold his arms around the small of the blond's back and hump gently and idly into the dip of muscle at the younger man's obliques.

Eventually Naruto found his voice again. "You didn't get to come," he said, quietly, reaching down.

Kakashi caught at the hand and kissed the knuckles, dragging the other nin up and skimming off the apron, "You didn't plan on our anniversary night to be over so quick, I hope?" He hefted that glorious tanned body up by the hips and spilled him across the kitchen table.

"Kakashi?" What should have been blue eyes stared, wide, at him; they were mostly black, though, with desire.

"Don't you think it's a shame," he said conversationally, hoisting those legs forcibly up and apart, "that we'd both been kept too busy the past year to properly break in this table?"

Naruto just snorted and brought both arms overhead to grip the other edge, "If we actually break this table, you're buying the new one." He arched into Kakashi's cock as it sank in, and god but he was blistering _hot_ inside, though maybe that was still some of the ginger juice. It was deliciously painful on his dick.

_Shinobi tend to be wired a bit differently, _Kakashi thought, with self-deprecating amusement, and stifled the giggle into Naruto's skin.

* * *

AN: The ginger buttplug is known as 'figging'. I totally blame naruto big bang for this. XD Also, Kakashi in this universe is more perverted in actions, and less in words. Saying things blatantly outloud, esp in public, makes him blush. ::grins:: see Desire from the previous Meditations.

* * *

**(rain)**

Char still lined the streets of Konoha. Buildings still gaped with holes. And they were still pulling dead from the rubble.

It felt wrong to pause in that task. They gathered, for him, and despite it being the culmination of Naruto's dreams, it felt _wrong._

"They need to hear something from you," Kakashi said, looking out at the crowd almost idly.

"I don't know what to say," Naruto replied helplessly, shoving a hand through his hair and messing up Sakura's careful work but, fuck it, there wasn't any difference after she'd finished with it anyways. "You know me, I'm bad with words!"

Kakashi just closed his eye in that smile of his in that way that always made Naruto feel stupid.

"What!"

The Copy Nin leaned in all close, and Naruto thought that he might be kissed and, honestly, he would sorta like the reassurance, maybe, but the guy just dodged his lips and nosed up by his ear, "You're better than you know. Let them see you; let them see their new Hokage."

And with the lightest brush of masked lips against his adam's apple, Kakashi was gone.

Naruto took a breath and stepped out into the rain, feeling awkward in the new robes, feeling awful at the new names on the memorial, feeling queasy that Tsunade's name was written there, too. He's sure he must look like a drowned rat, but he met the eyes of those of the crowd and they look at him with hope. He swallowed. Straightened his shoulders.

Then flicked out a Kage Bushin and shucked and flung his robes at it.

"Hey guys!" He turned and waved at the crowd, "Thanks for coming and thanks for believing in me. I promise to make Konoha proud and to keep it strong, and we're still the best village out there. But for now, there's shit to do," and he hopped off the stage. "District three and six could use trackers," he rattled off, waving them forward as he roof-hopped at a brisk pace, "They haven't been fully cleared of people, do we have some free Inuzuka or Hyuuga to get on that? Awesome, have at it; the one with the farthest range takes lead." Shinobi peeled off. "District four needs muscle," Naruto continued, "who's available for work in the—"

(Kakashi smiled as he watched people flow into place around the blond. The 'speech' was nothing like it ought to be, but everything it needed to be. _How like Naruto._)

* * *

**(wet)**

"Naruto!" Sakura smacked him upside the head and he only barely kept himself from tipping over on his heels. "This is COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE, I don't BELIEVE YOU."

"HEY, it's Halloween! Everyone supposed to dress up!" God, but the corset was uncomfortable, and the lace kinda itched at his nipples, but the expressions on people's faces were awesome.

"But your the HOKAGE, and _there's diplomats present_."

"It's a party! And I don't see them complaining; are you complaining Gaara—"

"No." The redhead cut in almost before the sentence was completely finished. He, like the other visiting kages, couldn't seem to tear their eyes from him and were looking to only barely be holding back their nosebleeds. _Heh, the world is full of perverts,_ and Naruto totally knew how to wrap them around his fingers. They wouldn't be able to concentrate during the negotiations tomorrow, he just knew it.

"See!" He grinned even as he wiggled away from an inadvertently reaching hand, it would suck if his tails were tugged.

"Okay FINE, they like it. But did you honestly think it was a good idea dressing up as the Kyuubi?"

He looped the tails over an arm and examined them. "But I thought I did a good job on them!"

"You did a very good job, Naruto," Kakashi drifted in, finally unfrozen after pausing for a good long while by the door, and reached a hand out slowly to play at the bits of fur Naruto'd fashioned into ears. The taller nin's arm radiated heat towards Naruto's bare shoulders even from that distance and he could only shiver at the warmth.

Sakura facepalmed, "That's Not the Point. Argh, I give up, I don't know why I bother." And stormed towards the punch bowl. Excellent, 'cause Naruto had made sure to spike it. He turned back towards the silver-haired nin, who was just staring at him with an almost reverent look.

"It's almost like Tactics, chapter 6, page 238," he whispered, touching Naruto's lace choker lightly.

Naruto danced away with a grin, and spun around slowly, so his partner could get the full effect of the black short lace skirt, fluffy, that smoothed up into the black corset. It was touched here and there with white accents, like the lacing up his back and the bunched lace trim around the top that gave his chest the slightest impression of curves, and that not really hid his nipples. It would've been completely indecent had he been female so he didn't use the Sexy no Jutsu, and the end result only made him *mostly* indecent.

A low whine came from Kakashi's throat and it made Naruto twitch, pleased, which made the tails swish just a little. And Kakashi's eye grew wide, "It's not attached to the inside of the skirt?" A long-fingered hand rested tentatively at the base of his back.

"Nope," he popped the end of the word playfully and rose a little bit more on his tiptoes, difficult 'cause he was already wearing heels, so that Kakashi's hand slipped lower, "Let's just say that it's gonna be _fun_ removing the tails later, when we're alone."

A single dark gray eye winched shut, and that tall frame vibrated a little with the effort of holding back his nosebleed. Kakashi choked out, in a whisper, "You attached the tails to a buttplug?"

"Tch! Of course not," Naruto snorted, and the silver-haired guy calmed down a little in reaction, "that would've been too hard. I got a cat o' nine tails and wrapped fur around the ends."

And then the Copy Nin grew completely still, and whispered, slowly, "A-a whip. You stuck a _whip_ up—"

"My ass," Naruto cheerfully supplied.

"Nrk!"

He stared, after dodging. _Didn't think that Kakashi could nosebleed hard enough to shoot right through his mask. Go figure._

* * *

_end...?_

* * *

AN: ::gigglefit:: I would love art for 'wet', if it moves you?


	9. Tale 13: Better than Perfect

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 13: Better than Perfect

.o0o.

**AN: **Assume post-series sometime or other. Thanks to Violet Garnets for pointing out mistakes! ^_^b

**Summary:** Wherein Naruto has a scheme to remove Kakashi's mask, and Kakashi plays a game of gay chicken (he cheats).

**Warnings:** really really NC-17, semi-het (ie. Sexy no Jutsu)

* * *

"A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week."  
- General George S. Patton

* * *

The blond-haired 'callgirl' shuddered as Kakashi ran a knuckle back and forth between her legs, over her panties, across the slight dip where she was the hottest, where the cloth was slowly growing wet.

"What was you name again?" Kakashi said, amused, wondering when the other shoe would drop, but deciding to play along however long he could get away with it. He bit and licked lightly at the corners of 'her' mouth through his mask, having already removed his hitai-ate, and smiled at the smell of miso.

"Na—", the girl coughed, continued, "Natako." There was white all around the blue of her eyes, but her hips didn't stop moving against his hand.

"Well Natako, I can't say that I'm not surprised to hear that my teammates bought you for me." Kakashi moved his hand away from the heat of her and scored at her inner thigh very lightly with his nails; and either, or both, of the actions made her tremble. "They're kind of cheap."

"CHE—eeap?" The outraged tone hilariously attempted to mutate itself into a question.

"Yes," he hummed, and fitted himself more comfortably against her back, settling his growing hardon pointedly in the crack of 'her' ass. It made her twitch, almost violently. And yet she wasn't utterly moving away from him or dropping the act; she undulated back against his increasinly interested erection and wound an arm up behind her, up to grab at his hair and then down to fiddle at the edge of his mask. He twitched his head away from her fingers and wove his hand around hers, bringing it down and to settle at her stomach.

_Did Naruto want to see under his mask that badly? _he wondered, amused. "Cheap: they always make me pay for their food. It's not like I'm dating them... am I?"

"Of course not!" she retorted face tilting backwards to peer at him.

"Of course not." Kakashi echoed, agreeability in his tone, a light grit held back in his molars. He decided to push harder and brought both hands up to her neck in a firm grip, asked, "Should I trust you with my face?"

She became very still, and he relaxed his hold and let his hands fall into a caress, down the sides of the neck and smoothing across her tanned shoulders, bringing with them the straps of her dress. He bit hard at the back of her neck, her hair pulled into an updo, and it made 'her' jolt away. But Kakashi was ready, he still had a grip on her straps and followed up her movement with a tug. It made her breasts pop right out of the fabric.

_Not like her dress was really covering them much anyway, _Kakashi thought with his mouth in a hidden leer, his eyes near closed with his grin.

It was interesting how 'Natako' was almost more comfortable now, and less jittery, half naked. She shimmied herself coltishly out of the rest of the dress and plastered her front against Kakashi in what she must think is an alluring way. And it *was* quickening his blood, such perfectly edible breasts being devastatingly traumatic to any male with working hormones and even a *hint* of inclination. But.

But she held her needy expression just a touch too long, looking up at him, like she was waiting for his reaction. And Kakashi wasn't going to give it to her that easily. He took a slow breath (sniffed up the blood in his nose very very carefully), and reached out to help himself to two large handfuls of delightfulness.

Which made 'Natako' looked gobsmacked, that he actually_ touched _her naked skin when she offered herself up like that. _Don't offer what you can't give, Naruto._

Kakashi played at her gently, thumbing her nipples and stroking lightly at the undersides of the breasts with the rest of his fingers, and watched as 'she' moaned then looked even more surprised. Though this time at _herself_.

"I don't trust just anyone with my face, you know," he said lightly and kneeled to rub his masked cheek against that softness, nosing at bit at her areola until her nipple pebbled up under him.

"Y-you don't," her breathing hitched despite her trying to control it.

"Nope." Kakashi paused, then murmured, quietly, "I might trust my team, perhaps, if they asked."

"Just. Just by asking."

"Maaaaaybe~." Kakashi singsonged, humming the word into her skin. "But then, my team's not here right now, are they? So it doesn't really matter... does it?" He opened his mouth, so that his mask stretched, then pressed the fabric over her nipple and breathed, hotly, mouthing at her, and she _keened_ like she was stabbed.

Kakashi peered up, eyes hidden in a smile, "What was your name again?"

"Nar—Natako," she breathed, hands half-raised as if she couldn't decide what to do with them. To push him away or to pull him in.

Then she settled her hand on his mask.

"Of course~!" he chirruped, "How could I forget? Na...tako, tell me if I'm too much, ne?" And he slipped lower, away from her hand and down to her black bikini panties, bit one strap through his mask and dragged it down, with a finger helping it along on the other side. He let it fall to her ankles once it was low enough, and Kakashi stared up at her then, at the pinked folds of her, flushed with arousal and kind of cute. The girl blushed too, then, and tried to close her legs and Kakashi stopped her with a hand on either thigh, eyebrow raised in challenge.

"The hell are you doing?" the blond half-yelped "You don't need to look at that!" And she tried to shove his head away. Kakashi just pressed back against her hand, and it became a strange sort of tug of war.

"I don't?" Kakashi stood up suddenly, hoisting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist as he quick-stepped them over to the bed. "Maa, so shy, for someone in your profession."

"Um," the blue eyes shifted in consternation and embarrassment. "Right, yeah." She was breathing quick and looking a little lost, like Kakashi had gone completely off-script. He smirked and spilled her abruptly onto the bed, and then crawled half-over her to grab her attention.

"You know, I have a teammate who's a little like you," he stroked up her sides in a calming way, "Gets himself into interesting situations and doesn't know when to quit."

"Well maybe he feels like too many people quit," blue eyes serious, even though her breathing was sharp and high. Her hand stroked up his arm in a seductive caress that Kakashi would've leaned into (and would've believed) had her hand not then made a beeline towards his mask. The Copy Nin caught that hand and pressed a kiss into her knuckles, like a gentleman.

"But some fights you can't win," Kakashi pointed out mildly.

"And you don't know that unless you put your all into it," she insisted, leaning in as if for a kiss, and he could see her teeth reaching for his mask from a mile away.

" 'Your all'?"

Her breath hitched as she shuddered to a stop, a low deep moan rising from her chest as Kakashi fingered into her, stroking gently; what was only damp before growing more and more wet, more soft, more welcoming. There was no resistance from a hymen, like with most kunoichi, but a sort of tightness that told him that nothing but perhaps fingers had been there before, and perhaps not even that. The blond twisted against him as if not being able to decide whether to get closer or squirm away, the blue eyes glazed and astonished, the arms flung up and curled around his neck making no move towards his face, only simply hanging on. Her pants and breathing were loud in the room, the edge of helplessness in the sound of them, on the brink of turning into moans.

"All?" He slid up more of his fingers inside her and she seemed to sob with it and fucked down onto them. _There,_ the tip of his fingers touched an area just the slightest bit spongy and the almost-touch made her whine, low in her throat.

"All, _Natako_?"

"Fucking hell, _yes_ alright?" And she grabbed his hand and pressed him inside her more and rode it with a hedonistic writhe. God, but the blond was beautiful like that. He'd almost wanted to open the Sharingan to preserve it, but he didn't want to share any of this with Obito. Not any of this beautiful girl spilled onto his bed; nor any of the boy underneath.

_Speaking of which._

He yanked his hand away, just as she was nearly pulsing around him, and the blond flat out screamed at him in utter frustration.

Kakashi caught her eyes when she did, and slid his pants off meaningfully, and crawled up to lean over her, in nothing but his shirt and its attached mask. "Say the word," he said, as seriously and intensely as he could, not touching any bit of her.

She gulped, peering at the heavy length of him, and he was expecting to hear 'No' or 'Wait' or some other sort of stall, but what came out was, "_All_." And darted her gaze up at his chin, her hands twitching.

"The mask stays on, '_Natako_'," Kakashi said firmly, and collapsed down against her skin. He wrapped an arm around her waist and with the other took himself in hand, dragging his dick up and down her soft, wet folds. "It shouldn't matter, right? Since my teammates already paid you to bed me?" He watched her shiver with every pass; he dipped just a little inside, like a threat, and her hot core shook against him.

"Fuck, I don't even care anymore," she muttered, hooked her legs around his waist and _slammed_ him in on the next pass. Kakashi hissed at the _softamazingwet_ in a tight grip around his cock, mind almost blanking from the sudden pleasure, hands flying into place to hold her thighs up and open and still.

"_Naruto_," he couldn't help saying, the only thing stopping himself from just plowing into her roughly until he comes. Kakashi forced his eye open and looked down, then held back a slight frown at what he saw. Her face was a mix of emotions under a soft glaze of arousal: shamed denial and nervous apprehension and anguished want.

"Is. Is that," she breathed hard, trembling, not looking at him, "The name of your teammate?"

The muscles in the blond's legs untensed just a bit, so Kakashi allowed himself just a tiny shallow thrust. A squeak cracked out of her at that, like a sigh released too fast, but there was no pain in the sound. "You think I'd say a teammate's name while I'm fucking _you_?" He asked, mostly to get ahold of himself, as he continued with the tiny thrusts.

"Well am I right?" the question was uncertain even as it wobbled out in fits and gasps.

As there was no possible way that Naruto could actually think he _wasn't_ part of Kakashi's team, it meantthat the blond was still holding onto his act for whatever reason. _It's time to stop that, _Kakashi thought as he encouraged one leg to wrap around his waist, to free up that hand so to turn the blond's face towards him. He'd frankly never thought it'd get this far; he'd thought that at some point Naruto would back out, drop the jutsu, or run away, and thus know in the future not to tease him like that, and it would leave Kakashi alone and able to take his erection in hand. _Not crammed into. Into *Naruto*, hot and writhing and wet with want. _ Yet here he was, so he was going to do it _right; _he was going to do it saying Naruto's name, he was going to make Naruto scream while knowing that Kakashi knew it was _him._

Blue eyes popped open at his touch however, looking afraid, and he was taken aback. He tried to reconsider his thoughts, inasmuch as he could while balls deep in the most perfect tightness his cock had ever had the honor of being in.

_Hmmm._

"My teammate," Kakashi began instead, giving a gentle, gentle thrust, "Is the strongest man that I know."

The blond sucked in a breath.

"I'd before thought that that was my jounin-sensei, but my teammate surpassed him easily," Kakashi said, quietly, as if speaking of the weather. He pulled almost all the way out, and admitted, "I would like to fuck him," and pushed, thoroughly, deliciously in.

A choked moan wrenched from the girl that she herself didn't seem to notice, being too busy staring at him. "You would?"

Kakashi hummed in agreement, "I would like to peel away his jacket so I could nibble up his neck, and maybe lick at his ears to see if he moans." And Kakashi set action to words, keeping his rhythm but curling himself in, letting himself bite more sharply than he otherwise would because his mask blunted the action. Her shivers followed his mouth, a heady musk rising from her skin. He almost wanted to remove the mask so that he could lap at her directly, but it was the principle of the matter at this point. And Kakashi was nothing if not a principled man.

Kakashi grinned at himself self-deprecatingly; and sucked at Naruto's ear through the cloth, tracing the whorls with a light touch from his tongue. The blond moaned as if at a feast and not knowing what to grab first, spreading her thighs into his thrusts and tilting her head into his mouth.

"I bet I could come just from listening to him," he murmured, "I think he would be beautiful around my cock." Kakashi snapped his hips in at that, with a twist, and Naruto arched up into him scrabbling madly at his shoulders as if seeking some sort of grip. "Beautiful around my fingers," he said, "Or in my mouth." And he leaned in close, whispering lowly into her ear, "Up my ass."

Her head whipped towards him and he stared into deep blue eyes, half-breaths hissing in and out almost like she was hyperventilating, and Kakashi met her gaze squarely and let the smile only into his voice, "So many things we could do~. A pity he isn't here right now, ne?"

He let out a mournful sigh. And slammed deep into her.

And the groan that ripped from the blond sounded completely _painful_; the type of pain that came when there was too much pleasure to know what to do with, and not enough of yourself to contain it all. He felt much the same; the impression of her taste that he'd gotten through his mask, the heady scent of her, the trembling of her thighs, the wet grip of her against him. The sound of her breathing struggling against itself and still refusing to be helpless. The sight of her being taken with the pleasure from being on _his_ _cock_.

Luckily, Kakashi knew how to keep himself from coming; he put together thoughts, one after the other, and strung them into words.

"Sometimes I wanted to bite at his cheek," he confided, quietly, almost hoping that she didn't hear over her moans, "When he smiled. And I'd just stare."

However, hazy blue eyes cleared a little at his words, and her breathing quickened even more. Her hips met his on his next hard thrust.

"Sometimes when I look at him," this even quieter, "The way he carries himself reminds me of Hokages I have known."

But the blond had gone quieter still, her eyes impossibly wide, biting down on her lips to stifle her groans, her thighs straining even farther apart to take him deeper in.

"Sometimes he reminds me," whispering, and he was pounding into her rough and pulling out slow, Naruto meeting him halfway and whimpers hidden in her throat, held back with what looks like pure force of will so as to hear him, and Kakashi has never felt so _present, _whispering, "He reminds me that there are more than just Yesterdays and things in the past."

Somewhere along the way, the warm wet of her had turn molten, a hot tremble, her eyes liquid, her breathing desperate. He let go of her legs, trusting her to keep them up, to brace himself better against the bed and began to fuck her faster and harder, in earnest.

"Nngggh!" The blond tossed her head back, neck a long arch, those negative emotions nearly washed away from her features.

"_Fearless_," Kakashi told her, chanted at her, asked of her, "He's _fearless_." He sped up when her breathing sped up, thrust harder when he saw she could take it; Kakashi kept pace with her desire, that Naruto would not have to ask for morefasterharder because he was already _there, _curling her almost in half with the force of his thrusts, slipping a hand in to circle her clit lightly and flick it once, twice, and Naruto _wailed, _completely undone. Kakashi sighed happily at that, cramming himself in as deep as he could and held himself there, hard, as she squeezed and squeezed around him as he came, shaking, a long electric pulse up his spine and out to his fingers and toes.

It left his entire body tingling and awake, and yet ridiculously tired. He felt himself collapsing so made sure he tilted to the side a bit, and landed only partly on the blond, with his shoulder and most of his weight sinking into the bed. He'd half-slipped out of her with the movement and then found an olive-skinned leg slung up over his hip to stop him from slipping out more.

Kakashi looked towards the girl.

She was staring at him, expressions flickering across her face too fast to catch.

"How can he," and then Naruto shook his head, irritably, demanding, "How can *I* be afraid, when you're always there, after?"

Kakashi huffed, with a laugh, delighted at _Naruto_ finally speaking to him, but having to shake his head. "Ah," Kakashi said, feeling apologetic, "But I haven't always been there." He brought her left hand forward and bowed his forehead against the back of it, where there would've still been scars from their first disastrous C-rank had the blond been any other person.

"I don'texpect you to fight my battles," the girl said, firmly, "I don't *_want* _you to fight my battles. But," her blue eyes flicked away from him, then dragged themselves back, "But it was nice when you bandaged my hand after. It... was nice when you carried me home, those times, when I couldn't, y'know, walk myself."

"I do seem to have made a habit of that, haven't I?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, not looking at him again, fondness in her voice.

Then frowned.

"Hey! Your mask is still on!" She yelled at him, "All that and it's STILL ON," outraged and growling and a certain light in her eyes making her absolutely terrifying despite the fact that his cock was still in her.

_Maybe *because* his cock was still in her,_ Kakashi pondered, a bit wide-eyed and sweating. "Your jutsu's still up," he pointed out in what he hoped was a reasonable way.

Naruto just tried to stare him down, then sighed, clenched internally and it was _too much too soon_ and Kakashi groaned and shifted out of her. When he opened his eye again she was sitting up and looking at him, her back straight.

"Kakashi," she asked sweetly, preparedly holding her hands up in the release sign, "Can you take off your mask?"

"I don't know," he said just as sweetly back, " 'Can' I?"

"You asshole," Naruto huffed, reaching forward, " 'May'_*_I* take off your mask then, _Kaka-sensei_?"

He caught at her hands. "I never liked that nickname," he remarked cheerfully, being singularly unappreciative of his name being a pun with fecal matter.

"Yeah I know, _Kaka-sensei_. Was that a yes?" the blond tugged at his grip lightly, a test, a probe.

"What was your name, again, miss~?"

"_Naruto, _my name's _Naruto_, you absolute _ass_." And the Jinchuuriki yanked at his grip but Kakashi was ready for her and yanked back even harder and flipped them around so he could smush his face down delightedly inbetween her breasts.

"Odd," his voice was muffled but he's sure the blond can feel what he was saying, literally, "I don't remember Naruto having these." He settled in deeper. "Nope."

There was a quick stifled snort, that grew into helpless laughter, and the breasts jiggled with it then 'poofed' away. It made him just a bit sad; but these pecs were nice too, as was the edible line of that collarbone, and the flat, pretty nubs of male nipples. He nosed at them almost on accident.

_Ooo, they blush, _Kakashi thought, amused, peering upward to meet the blonds disbelieving stare and flushed face.

"Are you _done_?" he asked with a somewhat disgruntled expression. There was something resigned in his face that told Kakashi he half expected the jounin to decide to leave, and something uncertain that said Naruto is thinking he should perhaps just leave himself.

So Kakashi smiled and tilted his head back, baring his throat, "You would like to take off my mask I thought?"

A low growl rumbled through the Jinchuuriki's ribcage and shaking hands lifted to the sides of his face.

Kakashi closed his eye at the touch and then felt air against his cheeks where before he'd only felt fabric. He was just peeking it open again when he was suddenly hauled up and found himself with a mouthful of tongue that was not his own. He leaned into the kiss with a pleased hum, finally being able to truly taste the young man without either cloth or jutsu in the way, and it was heady, delicious, perfect. But.

But he had to ask.

He drew back just a bit regretfully and blinked down at the blond, "Whatever possessed you to go through with that entire idea anyways?" Kakashi stuck all of his dumbfounded doubt of the other's intelligence into his tone. "I may have never seen your jutsu myself but I've heard of it often enough."

There was a bit of flailing and squirming underneath him and the jounin not letting him slip away and then, "It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Naruto blurted out, defensiveness all in the slight hunch of his shoulders.

He chuckled. _Cute. _"Mou, I guess I can't argue with the results," Kakashi sighed, and snuggled them both deeper into the sheets.

* * *

_end_

* * *

AN: Ah but that was fun! XD I've been wanting to write some version of this for aaaages, so thanks to Weeaboobs for prompting me on the matter. And I dunno how much it came through, but Naruto was essentially having his gay freak out _during_ the sex. ::gigglefit::

"Gay Chicken" = A game where two straight people of the same gender provoke each other sexually until the other person backs off, includes everything from kissing (tamest version) to groping/dry humping/verbal innuendo. It's cheating if you're actually not straight. XD


	10. Tale 14: Hide and Seek

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 14: Hide and Seek

.o0o.

**Summary:** Kakashi has a really good reason for wearing his mask...

**Warnings:** implied sex, nothing explicit, somewhat cracky humor.

* * *

_Fifteen years earlier._

"Found you!"

Kakashi paused his razor and turned towards the bathroom door.

"...!" a tiny squeak came from a tiny disappearing blond, then a scampering sound raced towards the Hokage's living room.

The Copy Nin sighed, finished up, and replaced both cloth mask and ceramic, and stiffened his shoulders to soldier outside. "Sandaime-sama," he greeted. "Thank you for lending me the use of your facilities."

The old man nodded, "It was nothing less than what I should offer, given the destruction of the ANBU ones due to this little scamp." He nodded at the little blond in a semi-stern way, and the boy ran around to hide behind his legs.

Then blue-eyes peered out, and stated, high-pitched and serious, "You're the prettiest girl ever."

Kakashi blinked. The Sandaime sweatdropped.

"I'm gonna marry you when I grow up."

"Aa." He found that he was really glad for both of his masks, right about now. "I believe I have a mission to attend to?" And then made himself scarce almost before the Hokage could reply.

* * *

_Present._

In a long series of mishaps involving Iwa nin, a daimyo's granddaughter, a fisherman, a kimchi cart, and a disheveled yak, his mask (and his backup mask) became irreparably shredded. His _other_ backup mask smells of the wrong end of yak.

_"_It's...It's _YOU_."

A shaking tanned finger pointed at his face, and maybe he could pull together the will to look somewhat alarmed, but Kakashi was mostly saving up energy to run.

Minato-sensei had at several points bewailed long and hard and panicked about the Uzumaki tendency to be stubborn _idiot _stalkers who could not keep their mouths shut _for the life of them_ and whereupon the entirety of Konoha ends up finding out about their sex lives practically before he could hobble out of bed for cleanup.

Of course he also mentioned this with the faint glazed look of Remembering A Great Fuck. But...

But no orgasm, Kakashi's pretty almost entirely sure, was worth sacrificing his privacy for.

So when those blue eyes lit in recognition, and before the turmoil of Naruto's Internal Gay Freakout could work it's course, Kakashi flat out _bolted_, screw mission (which was completed, mostly), screw Iwa nin (who were tied up), and screw their timetable (...which he didn't care about anyway), because he figured he would need every bit of headstart he could get.

(Of course he ended up being hunted down and screwed up against a tree, but that's another story entirely.)

* * *

_end...?_

* * *

AN: XD Got prompted at the kakanaru LJ community by jane_huahua. (Prompt: _He found Kakashi!)_


	11. Tale 16: Turn Your Back

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 16: Turn Your Back

.o0o.

**Summary:** Got prompted at the kakanaru LJ community by reichans_birdie.

**Prompt:** _"He couldn't turn his back on him, not even for a second."_

**Warnings: **explicit

* * *

Kakashi wearily closed the door, set up his locks and traps, and walked slowly to his bed. He did not trip or stumble only because of skill, removed his clothes and mask and hitai-ate and set them carefully away only due to habit, and then flopped face first into the sheets. God, but he was tired.

Too tired, in fact, to do more than twitch when he felt a wet tongue run down his crack to lap at his pucker.

"Naruto?" he sort of mumbled, not bothering to raise his head, his question more directed at the blond than asking for the identity of the owner of the tongue. Only his old teammate would not trip his shinobi reflexes, only the other jounin can sneak past his traps, and only his Hokage knew where he lived.

"Hey." Naruto lifted a bit to nip at his asscheek and then rested his chin on it.

"Don't expect me to move, I hope?" he spoke into the sheets, then turned his face so that only his left cheek rested against the mattress, and he could sorta almost see Naruto from his peripheral vision.

"Nope," the blond leered, then ducked back down again to french his ass, hands spreading him gently.

"Oh good," he muttered and then let himself fall into the sensations.

* * *

_end_

* * *

AN: heee... totally subverted the prompt, but the requester seemed to like it. XD


	12. Tale 18: Inappropriate Gifts

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 18: Inappropriate Gifts

.o0o.

**Summary:** Very belated birthday fic for Kakashi to storm_light's prompt over at the kakanaru LJ for **an inappropriate present**. Semi-belated birthday fic for Naruto.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto, not making money off this.

**Warnings: **none

* * *

People normally gave Hatake Kakashi sane gifts. Reasonable gifts. Sensible gifts.

Gifts like kunai, extra explosive tags, giftcards to the armory, dog food. Sensible, plausible, safe gifts. Because Hatake Kakashi was a strange shinobi, to be sure, with a very unpredictable sense of humor and he _looks_ friendly enough. But.

He was one of Konoha's Elite Jounin. He was known and feared across the entirety of the Elemental Countries. He can kill 98.7% of the people he meets, almost all before they even realize that they're dead. Most people therefore thought it wisest to be careful towards the man; in their gift choices to the anti-social man and in general.

So when Hatake Kakashi opened up his present from one Uzumaki Naruto, and everyone saw what it was, there was a collective flinch backwards. (Shikamaru had taken one look, muttered, "Troublesome," and kawarimi'd out leaving a roll cake in his place.)

Because.

Because.

"...I was stumped, y'know? So I asked around, and _fuck_ but everyone's so _boring_, giving you _boring-ass_ things, and I already gave you Mr. Ukki and porn..."

Half of the room gave out a collective blink. For one thing, his student gave Hatake Kakashi _porn_? For another, a_person_? And aren't slaves outlawed in Konoha? Who was this Mr. Ukki anyways? Have you heard of him? No? (I didn't know that Uzumaki was that kinky. You twit, he's a student of _Jiraiya_-sama.) Wouldn't we have heard something if the Hatake was keeping a slave? Not if he was tied to the _bed_!

The rest of the room either knew what Naruto was talking about, or was still staring in horror at the white ball currently in the Copy Nin's grip. (Tsunade rolled her eyes and took her leave, making a sidetrip across the bar. Most of the alcohol at the bar took leave with her.)

"...and then I heard, y'know, you got the sharingan from the guy that was probably your best friend or something (and you really ought to hang out at the memorial less, you might get to places on time for once Kaka-sensei!) so I thought, 'Hey I can give him a _sharingan_!'..."

And... it kind of was. A large, rubber orb, with a painted on iris resembling the red marks of the activated Uchiha bloodline, resting in Sharingan no Kakashi's hand, which trembled, a bit.

The guests at the back of the room started slipping out the door. (Sakura closed her mouth with a snap and stormed out, dragging Yamato and Sai with her, muttering, "Help me ready a hospital bed.")

"...and it's rubber! You can squish it if you get stressed or something, they say. Try it, it's awesome! Come on! ThreeTwoONE GO!"

And the ball was suddenly squeezed in that fist which could hold lightning and smash through rocks. And on the orb, the red and black iris suddenly _morphed_ then _bulged_ out, all it's innards being pushed outwards and it looked like flesh-toned wormy _brains_—

There was a collective choking noise.

(Gai felt distinctly unyouthful and rather unbecomingly upset in the stomach. He excused himself.)

"Cool, yeah?"

There was a humongous pressure in the air, and the deep scent of fear from all those at ground zero, nearest to the Shinobi Who Knew A Thousand Jutsu.

Who squeezed the ball a couple more times...

Then shoved up his hitai-ate.

And they all _broke_, shushin-ing towards the exits, or at least moving at a fast and nearly careless looking walk. Such a pity too, the blond was a pretty good Hokage...

Naruto just stood there, beaming, watching as Kakashi's eye started spinning, as he squished the ball more. It'd been a pain in the ass getting the thing commissioned, and then patented so that Kakashi would have the only one, and then all the little bits working the way he'd wanted it to. He'd had to help out personally at one point, because while the teeny rubber people could be replicated fairly easily, if tediously, the guys attaching them all together were soooo uninspired! So Naruto got a couple bushin to connect all the teeny tiny rubber people's teeny tiny bits together in interesting ways and then handed the mass over to the artisan to stuff them all inside the eyeball.

He was pretty pleased with it, all told, 'cause if you look carefully while squishing it, it kinda looked like an orgy, in action.

Kakashi let out a giggle, flushed, captivated, and Naruto smirked.

And hey, if he could prank all the party-goers at the same time, all the better!

Another squish, another giggle, a low and husky murmur, "Ah, a pity that this could never be reproduced."

"Well I hold the patent, so I can get you another squishy-ball, Kakashi-sensei," he easily replied.

An absent hum, and more squishing, "Not... what I meant. Tell me, Naruto, how many Kage Bushin can you maintain at once? And keep stable?"

"Huh? But you were _there_ when I trained with Yamato for the—" the squishy ball was suddenly shoved into his line of sight, and pulsed at him, twice, pointedly, "...but my control's gotten better since then, maybe. Uh. Twenty? Maybe. If. If I understand what you're planning on—"

"I'm pretty sure I can have four up,indefinitely, if they're active," the reinstated ANBU interrupted, "Eleven if you're... gentle."

And Naruto wheezed a little, at the mental images he just got hit by.

Kakashi smiled into the stillness. "Mou, I never did give you anything for our anniversary did I?" The silver-haired nin leaned in close, a long, lanky, sexy loom.

"I didn't either?" Naruto coughed, shook himself. Granted they have been, are still, hiding their relationship, so they didn't make much of the date.

"Then consider this a belated birthday present." Kakashi leered.

A handsign, and a poof.

A sudden beaming crowd of sexy subordinate; half of whom immediately kneeled and murmured, "Aa, such a big, empty room, _Hokage-sama_. Whatever shall we do with it?"

Naruto gulped, chakra releasing almost without conscious thought, bushin popping into place around him and, like him, staggering forward or down or against arms and bodies that caught him, "I don't think I have enough lube on me?" Clothes. There were too much. Clothes. Everywhere.

"There's plenty of _frosting_, Naruto," an amused, husky voice murmured into multiple ears.

Several moans escaped in response.

* * *

"He's _alive_?"

"Yeah."

"And the captain too?"

"Yeah."

"No shit?"

"Actually, I think they're passed out."

"Do we need to alert the hospital?"

"...probably not for the type of injuries they have."

"Damned Hyuuga, always have to be cool and obscure. Give the rest of us a straight answer for once in your life, come on!"

"...(incomprehensible)..."

"What was that? And hey why did you turn off your bloodline?"

"They're fine, they woke up again. And in answer to your other previous question: 'I doubt that our head medics would wish to heal their sex injuries'."

"Eeeeh?" "Wha?" "Gnnnrk!"

"...I didn't know it was possible for females to nosebleed."

* * *

_end_

* * *

**AN:** XD And the foxwife is their relationship. ::grins::

**roll cake: **also known as a **log **cake. Get it? ::SHOT::

**shark horror ball: **google this to know what I mean when I talk about the innards being squished outwards. ^_^

**threeTwoONE GO!: **Naruto's voice actress is an ABSOLUTE SPAZZ, if you have a chance go to Youtube and look up O-! _Naruto Nippon_! and her interviews of people from the voice cast. She talks at the speed of lightning and induces the crew to do Sexy no Jutsu voices and confess to their One True Love, and sings about her kitties who poos and are adorable. AND I DIE LAUGHING.


	13. Tale 19: Bad Pickup Lines Sometimes Work

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 19: Bad Pickup Lines Sometimes Work

.o0o.

**Summary:** A drabble for valiantnight.

**Prompt: **Bad pick up lines, Kaka to Naru.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto, not making money off this.

**Warnings: **Sexually explicit, don't read if you don't like.

* * *

Kakashi looked into blue blue eyes, and completely didn't know what to say. So he thought, _to hell with it_, swallowed, and murmured, "Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes."

Those blue eyes blinked, and Naruto gaped at him. "T-the hell, Kakashi, wha—"

"Because is it hot in here or is it just you?" the silver-haired man tried, somewhat desperately, somewhat breathlessly, nearly a wince on his face. Kakashi knew he was bad at this but, then, it worked in the books, right? He found himself shaking, a little.

"I don't even know what you—" Naruto stuttered, "What you are even _thinking_." The blond reared back a little, but Kakashi pressed forward, not letting the younger shinobi move away, not now, and Naruto gasped, closing his eyes.

"Naruto," He whispered, "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

"Arrgh," a choked-off, disbelieving groaning laugh, "Kakashi you're so _weird_." Naruto hid his laughter against Kakashi's chest and he could only smile, pulling the blond in, and arching.

"Maybe so, but I hope you know CPR," and his words shook, unsteady, because Kakashi felt unsteady because, "because you just took my breath away," because Naruto was just _relentless_ between his legs and it was hard to put _thoughts_ together, let alone _speak_.

"I'm _already fucking you_," Naruto pretty much yelled, punctuating his words with thrusts so hard that the pleasure vibrated down to Kakashi's _toes_, "Why are you still using _pick up lines_?"

"Because if you were a booger, I'd pick you first," he replied, spoken soft like the dirtiest little secret, panted into Naruto's ear.

The blond just grunted and shoved his hips higher, and Kakashi had to let his head slam back into the mattress and just try to choke back a whimper, the angle suddenly goddamed _perfect_. He clawed at the sheets, feeling overheated, and electrified and having to, having to—

Having to make Naruto _understand_, "If a s-star fell. from the sky every. Every time I thought about you," the words escaping him in shattered bits and pieces, "then. Then tonight the sky would be, _fuck_, empty— _nnnngh!_" His ass quivered uncontrollably, "_Naruto._"

Whose hips had sped up, short, quick thrusts right _there_, a ceaseless tide of sensation so delicious that Kakashi barely registered the kisses mouthed onto his neck, his throat, the blond head shaking against him, "You don't have to use those lines, you weirdo, I'm already here." A tight, perfect, grip fisted around his cock, "I'm not leaving."

And that was _it_. Orgasm roared toward him like an inevitable wave and, Kakashi forced himself to look into intense blue eyes and say, before he couldn't say anything, "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you—" the end of it being a long low moan, so long that it went soundless as he ran out of air, as he seized up from too much pleasure, clenched around Naruto's cock. It pulsed in him, a burst of heat, of wet, and a sound cracked out of Kakashi's throat at that feeling, that mostly meant, _Yesss._

They both quivered from the aftershocks for a long while, trying to catch their breaths. Naruto finally lifted his face from Kakashi's neck and looked at him thoughtfully, opening and closing his mouth.

"So all this because you couldn't, actually, say it?" Naruto snorted.

"Except my love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in," Kakashi leered.

The blond made a face at him, "Honestly, you could say it like THAT, but you can't say a simple, 'I love you too'?" Hands cupped Kakashi's face and a kiss dropped onto his scar, "You're so _weird_." And in it were the words, _And I don't mind_.

"I'm glad you understand," Kakashi chirruped, and caught Naruto's mouth, and spent a happy long while relearning how it tasted. He kept forgetting, and that was an awful shame.

* * *

_end_

* * *

**AN:** XD And the foxwife is Kakashi's feelings.


	14. Tale 20: Snow

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 20: Snow

.o0o.

**AN: **Something requested by uzumaki_rakku and... er, pertinent to the season? XD

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto, not making money off this.

**Warnings: **none

* * *

He shrieked and lept into the branches of the trees above them. Looked down, kinda peeved, and squirmed uncomfortably.

Naruto was on his back and laughing uncontrollably below him.

"Mou, why must you stick snow down my pants?"

The sunny smile that beamed up at him made him almost completely forgive the prankster, "Because your reaction was hilarious?"

Kakashi frowned back, and put on a tragic air, "But now my balls are cold~." It might've been just a bit of a whine.

A bright streak and then Naruto was suddenly next to him, leaning in, "I could warm those up for you."

"Would you now?" Kakashi hummed and settled himself the best he could against the tree. "I don't know how effective you'd be..."

"Better than hot chocolate," the blond promised, and dove at his pants.

* * *

_end_

* * *

**AN: **::gigglefit::


	15. Tale 21: Getting On The Road

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 21: Getting (Lost) On The Road (To Life)

.o0o.

**AN: **Something that I had percolating in my head for awhile...

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto, not making money off this.

**Warnings: **none for this part...

* * *

There was an explosion, if an explosion was turned inside out and felt like the smell of ozone, dead air, and peppermint.

They, Sai and Sakura and Kakashi, dropped their individual training and raced to the point where Naruto had last been working on deciphering his father's signature jutsu. The seal paper was smoking, the ink on them fizzing and growing and eating itself up.

"Naruto!" Sakura yelled, and in it was *_you idiot_*, and *_where are you_*, and *_don't be dead_*.

"We need to inform the Hokage," Sai stated, having done a quick scan of the area and determined that Naruto was, in fact, nowhere around. It was a small comfort that there were no body parts strewn around, but given the nature of what he'd been studying that wouldn't mean anything, conclusively.

"Mmm," Kakashi hummed, shoulders slumping into a tired slouch, eye focused on the last of the ink. He disappeared when it did.

* * *

"I can't believe he's late for this," Sakura hissed, almost stomping as they raced along the roofs. They'd debriefed Tsunade who'd immediately put out several retrieval teams to locate the blond. Kakashi had sent Pakkun to the meeting who'd passed on the message that the seals used wouldn't have the power to relocate Naruto beyond Fire Country. But that fact still left a great deal of ground to cover.

"Perhaps he's approaching the main gate as we speak?" Sai suggested.

Sakura shook her head, "When Kakashi-sensei gets this late there's only one place he'd be." They're so late. All of them, they should have been out there searching already. Naruto should've been monitored more closely, the stupid *idiot*. They're so.

Late.

They arrived at the memorial stone where a tall form lingered nearby.

"Kakashi-sensei, you're _late_." She ground out, "For the search party." She felt like she was holding on to her temper by a fingernail, and the nail was cracked.

"Mmm, I suppose that's one way of looking at it." He briefly glanced at her, then at Sai, and then flickered a look around the clearing. He breathed in as if to sigh, but no sound came out, and resumed staring at the stone.

Sai looked at his posture and stance, asked, "You're not coming?"

"Aa." A shrug. "I'm not needed."

Of course they needed him, he had summons and jutsu dedicated to tracking, why would he think—

"He's not dead," Sakura sputtered, insisted, fist clenched at her side and shaking, *furious*, watching Sharingan no Kakashi at the stone of fallen heroes and, "He's not."

"Of course he isn't." And then Kakashi turned to her and smiled that same fucking smile that he gave her after Naruto and Sasuke turned on each other on top of a hospital and.

And look how that turned out.

Sai was looking at the jounin who standing tall and relaxed and Sakura was just so pissed off at that right now (_relaxed! *how*?_), and started to say, "Sakura maybe—"

"Not right now Sai," she barked, "We should just request someone else. We should get going," she breathed once, twice, "We need to go."

Naruto didn't, couldn't, understand how much they needed him because it was only with him gone that Konoha, their class, their team, vibrate with his echoes. (He was too loud when he was there, in person, to see the echoes) In the three years that he'd left with Jiraiya, Naruto's ghost lingered, everywhere, in the way that there were silences in certain conversations, in the way that everyone seemed to hear and repeat the story of the Chuunin exam and of the failed retrieval, and attempted to train harder to match Naruto's example. To try and catch up to this immature, hopeless, hopeful blond airhead who showed them all up.

What would Konoha look like without that? Without a loud, idiotic, stupidly powerful, ridiculously orange goal to reach towards? What would their village look like without someone crazily strong and breathtakingly determined to be their Hokage, who still refused to let go of his kindness and smiles and hope?

Sakura has been Tsunade's apprentice for too long to not have seen how power worked. And though in her mind's eye Naruto smiled and said, "Don't worry Sakura-chan! It'll work out!", she has to reply to that image, "Not without you."

She thought of the elders and the councils and of people who shared Danzo's beliefs and thought, "Not without you."

She ran faster.

* * *

Kurenai passed Kakashi on the way to drop off flowers at Asuma's grave. She glanced at him, briefly.

He glanced back.

"You shouldn't spend so much time here, Kakashi-san," she said, not looking at him as she carefully set down her offering. "There are places you're needed."

"And where is your daughter, Kurenai?" the Copy Nin retaliated.

"She can spare me for twenty minutes while I pay my respects," she replied. "Should you have spared the time you've already taken, lingering here?"

"I'm where I'm supposed to be," Kakashi murmured, staring at the tone.

Kurenai raised her voice, "Kakashi—"

"I don't recall Asuma liking flowers," he interrupted.

"He didn't."

"Are you leaving them for yourself, then?"

She looked at him for a bit.

Then let him be.

* * *

Gai stifled a groan, stuck a finger in Kakashi's general direction, and proclaimed, "A tie isn't very youthful at all!"

It was, however, very awkward to point in a prone position so he let the hand fall. They'd been having a taijutsu challenge for the past couple hours because his Eternal Rival's behavior had become distinctly Alarming. Konoha had raised a collective eyebrow at the increased presence of talking dogs ordering take-out, and when Gai had first arrived he'd noticed the sort of complete lack of smell that indicated Kakashi was probably using several sanitary and scent suppression jutsu meant for long-term combat missions. Which meant the man had not, in fact, moved from general location of the memorial stone for several weeks now.

Gai had thought that it would be a simple matter to prod Kakashi's youthfulness into blossoming again, but the man proved strangely resistant. Usually, depending on the Challenge, the silver-haired man would cave into a competition within 30 minutes to an hour, less if Gai resorted to Special Good Guy Pose #26 and more if Gai felt like experimenting with the effectiveness of newer poses of similar Encouragement and Passion.

_Hm! _ Come to think of it, his Eternal Rival had been most resistant to suggestions of races or water walking, but fairly quickly acceded to a taijutsu match. To which the other jounin had hummed and had asked, "Keep it in this training ground?"

And Gai had agreed.

What followed, in Gai's humble opinion, had been a Very Good Workout that left them both prone and immobile on the grass.

From the corner of his eye he watched as Kakashi watched the field, the stone, the empty waving grass of their surroundings.

"A tie just won't do!" Gai boomed, as much as he was able.

"Another challenge, Gai?" the silver-haired man asked, disbelief and fatigue in his voice.

"A most noble challenge of reaction time and reading your opponent," he insisted, and crawled his way over, face serious.

"Oh?"

Gai held out his hand, in a loose thumbs up. "Thumb war," he said and waited for Kakashi to clasp his hand; like how he would wait for a rabbit to come near, or a twitchy Hyuuga. He bopped his thumb, twice, _poing poing!_, in welcome.

"Mou, best out of three."

Kakashi's hand met his, and deep in the muscles there was a shakiness that surprised Gai. It made him keep his grip firm even as their thumbs steathily sparred. "Best out of ten," he insisted.

Kakashi's shrug travelled down the length of his arm, "If you think you need it."

"It's not I that need it, Eternal Rival," Gai replied with as much light and arrogance in his voice as possible, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

"Kakashi-san, Hokage-sama told me to tell you that you're to report to the Tower. And that's an order."

"ANBU-san, please tell Tsunade-sama that should she force the order, then I'll happily slash my hitai-ate."

"..."

"Have a nice day!~."

* * *

Hinata approached slowly.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

The man turned to her with a smile in his eye, remaing seated, slouched, "Hinata no kimi?"

"Um," she blushed at being referred to of such status, "You don't. Need to say such words. I don't..."

"Kakashi-san, then, Hinata-kun."

She just nodded. Breathed out slowly and pulled herself straighter. "Kakashi-san," she tried, "You shouldn't spend so much time here." She glanced at the bentos sitting at attention beside the man, some empty and neatly in a pile, a few that looked still full. Gai was passed out a few body-lengths away, hand on his stomach.

"Many people have said that, yes," the jounin replied, face a dark slice of silhouette. And they have, indeed, been trying to say that to him, Tsunade having ordering one nin or another to attempt to break through to the man.

"There are search parties out looking for Naruto," she said. "You should help," she said. Looked down, and firmed her jaw, "Don't you believe in Naruto?"

The light laughter startled her, and she glanced up, and Kakashi-san was looking at her with what appeared to be a smile, from what she could see of his face.

"I completely believe in Naruto," Kakashi said, and there was the faintest bit of wildness in the back of his tone, but most of it steady.

"But, but you," Hinata tried finding words for how much Kakashi was alarming everyone who knew of him with how he refused to leave the memorial stone and his mourning.

"Hinata-kun," Kakashi broke in gently, "You, of all those in your year, believed in Naruto first."

"Yes?" she agreed, not understanding where the jounin was going with this.

"Did you find it hard believing in him when every one else didn't?" the silver-haired man asked. "Did," he said, with a stress, "you find it hard?"

She was about to move the conversation back on topic when she looked at his posture. It was relaxed, with a stifled thrum. Hinata thought about what would cause such a reaction, then suddenly knew what that felt like, and stopped what she was going to say.

She said, instead, "I _*don't*_ find it hard, Kakashi-san." And sat down.

Because he looked like how she felt: when she was waiting.

He handed her a bento, and she thanked him. (It wasn't for the bento.)

* * *

Two hours later, Shikamaru dropped by.

Took one look at them.

"Troublesome," he muttered, and sat down. At least the clouds were nice today.

* * *

Chouji ambled over to the sound of alot of yelling. Most of it was from Kiba who, with a final last shout and huffing noise, sat down.

He set down the barbecue, and hauled out the good glaze.

"You know what makes good barbecue sauce better?" Anko suddenly popped over his shoulder.

"Eeeh?" the Akimichi raised an eyebrow.

"_Alcohol_."

* * *

It wasn't quite a wake. A wake was more noisy and hung-over. It wasn't quite a funeral, because funerals didn't have that much take-out. Or tents. Or campfires.

And while it was plenty noisy and hung-over, and while many people wore black, it wasn't exactly funeral wear because they were shinobi and Iruka refused to think that Naruto was dead.

And he was right, because if a flash of light was turned inside out, then that was what the thing looked like that suddenly dropped the blond neatly right beside the memorial stone. Naruto looked around and seemed staggered when they all looked at him, shadows stark around his eyes. Iruka felt alarmed at the changes, this was worse than how the blond appeared after Jiraiya's deah.

"Hello?" the blond said, and his eyes grew a bit wide as:

"Naruto!", "Where have you been!", "I was so worried!", "Fuck, man, don't do that!", "You idiot! You scared us!", "Boss! Where *were* you?"

...but his smile grew too. "Miss me?" he asked, and his voice croaked at the end.

A couple nin nearly went flying as a blond powerhouse shoved her way through them and hugged what had been missing from them without word, for nearly two months. "Naruto, I'm ordering you to not do whatever it is you did that made you disappear, and don't you *dare* argue." Tsunade-sama pushed him away a bit, "Hospital, and then debriefing."

That made Iruka frown a bit, but he knew he'd get his turn once official business got settled. And perhaps Tsunade-sama would get to the bottom of whatever was bothering the young man.

"Obaa-chan, I'm fine!" Naruto protested, laughing, haunted eyes roving the crowd, "And, ah, I don't think I should debrief in the hospital."

"Oh?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"It's...it's well it's been really _*wierd*_ and," and Naruto laughed a little, weakly, "You're gonna think I'm crazy." The blond glanced through the crowd again, searching, stopped when it landed on the Copy Nin, who'd just stuck his hands in his pockets and curved up a smile at the teen.

"I'd think you're 'crazy'?" Tsunade asked warily.

"*I* would think I was crazy," Naruto smiled then, like it hurt. "I'm not even sure," and the young man who looked too haggard took in a shaky breath, "I'm not even sure it actually happened."

It gave everyone pause, the stillness palpable, Naruto's mood frightening. This. This wasn't like the cheerful shinobi who'd left them, two months ago.

"You're not crazy."

The voice broke in, smoothly, steadily, like the way Kakashi-san was working his way through the crowd. "It actually happened," the silver-haired nin said, a smile in his voice.

Naruto looked at the jounin with something Iruka didn't recognize in his face, like something that had both faith and distrust in it, and something that. That Iruka had never seen on Naruto's face before.

Kakashi-san stopped before Naruto and said, almost like he was talking to himself, "It happened. And you're _real_."

And the blond *lunged* forward, to wrap his arms around the man, making him stagger. Kakashi raised his arms up, helplessly.

"Naruto," Kakashi-san muttered, "I told you; now that you're back, there are others. You don't have to be this—"

"Shut up," the short blond teen Iruka thought of as a little brother interrupted, "Just shut up. It was you for a reason." And to Iruka's complete disbelief, kissed the jounin through his mask.

The older shinobi's arms slowly fell down to wrap around the smaller blond. "If you're sure," came the soft murmur when they separated a hair.

"What the HELL is going ON?" Iruka roared, among other voices.

"Aa," Kakashi hummed, not looking up from where he was clutching Naruto to him. "Am I not allowed to hug my childhood sweetheart?"

"WHAT? Kakashi, explain." Tsunade broke in above the sudden babbling

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi raised his voice a little, but otherwise unmoving, "It wasn't a matter of 'where' Naruto was."

"What the—"

"The better question is: *When*?"

"...!"

* * *

_...(not) the end_

* * *

**AN: **::Is Evil, Clearly:: I really don't feel up to starting another epic, but, y'know these scenes really wanted to be written. SO HERE YOU GO. One day when there's enough stories in this 'verse I might split it off into it's own fic, but this is not that day.


	16. Tale 25: Sunflowers in Shadow

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 25: Sunflowers in Shadow

.o0o.

**AN: **In response to storm_light's challenge at the kakanaru lj comm. Completely worksafe.

**Prompt: '**The color black, a sunflower, and how about a little jealousy to add some spice heheh.'

* * *

Ghosts still linger around the Uchiha compound like a smoky film of cataracts. Even the bright sunny afternoon feels leeched of warmth, here, in this too-empty space. The walls are scrubbed so raw the paint looks in pain and Kakashi takes a moment to imagine Sasuke, here, wiping and washing and trying to mend these hollowed-out walls. It's an achy thought. While it's taken perhaps not very long at all, a couple of months only, for the last Uchiha to be mostly welcomed in Konoha after the devastation of Madara and the Great Shinobi War, this teenager that Kakashi still finds to be a very young boy rarely ventures out to Konoha proper.

This is why Kakashi is checking in today.

Sort of.

He saunters towards the wall of Sasuke's kitchen, and if it's very quietly that was almost entirely due to habit. He leans next to the window which is over the sink and pulls out his book and eavesdrops shamelessly. It's not hard. Voices are raised in sharp disagreement and there's the slam of a door.

He blinks mildly, and then leans into the opened window, propping his arms against the sill, "Trouble?"

"None of your business," Sasuke snaps, face twisting up briefly. He scoops the bowl of ramen from the table and brings it to the sink. Dumps it down the drain. "He'll get over it," the Uchiha mutters and glares at the sink as if he is an inch away from lighting it up with black flames, "He always does."

"Mmm," Kakashi hums noncommittally. He glances at the little pot on the sill next to him, the sunflower drooping in commiseration. Pokes a finger into the dirt, and then rubbed at his fingers thoughtfully.

"I remember Naruto giving you this plant."

"Hn."

"...you should water it a little." He says this, and thinks that maybe the flower needed more sunlight too, but it was already sitting in direct light. Was the sun actually that much weaker here? Kakashi slid his eye toward the eaves bemusedly. Caught a flash of orange.

"I don't have time to," Sasuke snorts. "And he's living here now, he should water it."

"Its the thought of it," he looks at the Uchiha, mildly insistent. _Why doesn't the boy understand what he has?_

"You're looking too much into things." And the dark-haired teenager starts walking away, tossing over his shoulder, "Hn, if you like the plant so much, you should take it."

"But Naruto didn't give it to me," Kakashi finds himself stating softly. Turns his head when Naruto finally makes a noise. Finds himself looking into blue eyes clouded with fatigue.

"Kakashi-sensei, why are you here?"

"Aah." He finds himself thinking that Naruto's hair was faint in this afternoon's light. "I suppose I don't know myself."

"Hmmm," the young man makes a disbelieving look, as if he's mentally chanting 'liar!', and then looks into the kitchen window in the direction that Sasuke left. His gaze shifts, and Kakashi is reminded of the look on Naruto's face all those long months when they've been trying to get Sasuke to come back to Konoha.

Sasuke is back, and in the blond's bed, and Naruto still wears that look.

"Naruto," Kakashi reaches over to cup the young man's face, but diverts his hand and lets it drop onto his shoulder instead. _How inappropriate, _he scolds himself. "You look tired, do you have somewhere to sleep?"

A flicker in those blue eyes, oddly unreadable despite the blond's usual obviousness, "Yeah."

In a perfect world, Naruto might then just lean in, resting his forehead against the offer of Kakashi's shoulder. Maybe admit that it's not working and that he is drained, and that there are better places to be than this compound where dead things reign. In a perfect world, that'll be all that it'll take.

It's not a perfect world. But what Naruto does do, however, is reach over and touch at Kakashi's hand that rests on the blond's shoulder, looking up at him with eyes rich and blue and bright, and it is (_perhaps?_) more than what he would've done a week ago.

Perhaps Kakashi is imagining it. Perhaps its only as Naruto has always reacted to him.

"Thanks Kaka-sensei!" Naruto suddenly chirrups and spins away from his hand, and Kakashi's not sure what he's being thanked for.

"Uh?"

But he shrugs. And mentally wishes Naruto well as the blond darts away. And despite the curdle in his stomach, wishes Sasuke well also.

He removes himself from the Uchiha's premises because clearly he is not needed here. Evening is falling and shadows drape the village but he doesn't quite have the stomach for dinner.

Perhaps some tea, his throat feels sore.

* * *

**AN: **I'd planned to write maybe something like 100 words. Yeah, that didn't work, did it. x.x;


	17. Tale 26: Bun in the Oven

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 26: Bun in the Oven

.o0o.

**AN: **What. I had to do it!

* * *

"Kakashi! Guess what!"

"Uh?"

"I have a bun in the oven!"

Kakashi blinks slowly and his eye slowly creeps open, wide and alarmed, "What."

"A bun! In the oven! I'm going to Sakura's right now to check it out!"

A long pause. "...is it mine?"

"WELL DUH. 'Is it yours', GEEZE. Do you THINK it could be anyone else's? I don't _believe_ you!"

Chouji managed to drag his jaw up from the floor from across the street, and slidles over, "Uh, Naruto, do you mean what I think you mean?"

"Well of course I mean what I think I mean!" The blond blinks. "Or what you think you mean? Wait, what _do_ you think you mean?"

"I mean I thought only girls—"

Naruto stammers at that, red-faced and defensive, "SHADDUP, THAT'S REVERSE DISCRIMINATION, THAT'S WHAT THAT IS!" There is flailing and grimacing and something about the rights of all persons to do whatever they like with their ovens instead of being forced by society into pre-defined roles and he's just not going to go _into _it because, "—you should've _heard_ Sakura when I approached her about it, _geeze_."

Chouji and Kakashi's eyes are both a bit glazed, with confusion, metaphor, and sugary topping.

"I mean, I mean, like Ino...?"

Naruto bursts out laughing, "I bet you like Ino's oven, huh, Chouji?"

Chouji sputters, red faced, as Naruto drags Kakashi away, cackling wildly.

"I... didn't even know you had an 'oven', Naruto." Kakashi finally manages as they approached Sakura's place.

"I'm full of surprises!" the blond beams and lets them in through the door.

"...do I smell smoke?"

"ACK, MY BUN!" Naruto races towards the oven and pulls out a black smoking thing. "My bun died!" He wails. The sound is melodramatic in the same way that Naruto carries on about his frog purse and his toothy sleep hat; so while it is not precisely of the same importance as learning a new jutsu, this new cooking project seems to be part of something which for Naruto makes life more... comfortable. Something like Kakashi's books and his favorite sheets.

(Like doing weapons check together, or hiding their toothbrushes in the same place.)

This is why the blackened mess gives him pause, and why he makes his words careful.

"Uh." Kakashi sweatdrops, "It's... okay? We can make another one?"

"Hmmph, only for you would I take up baking, you lazy ass." Naruto makes a face and drops the pastry into the trash, "I followed the directions and everything!" He stared at bin a bit, hands on hips, then started pushing Kakashi out the door. "Might be her oven. Let's go back to my place."

"Mou, go back... to your place?"

"Yeah! So we can make another one!"

Kakashi's still attempting to figure out a polite way to address the fact that he didn't want Naruto's apartment to smell of burnt pastry either when Ino waddles up to them, heavily pregnant, a red-fraced Chouji next to her, "Guys, did I hear right?"

Naruto pulls a face, sad, a bit mournful, "Nah, I lost it."

And Ino's face becomes an astonishing mix of confused, consoling, and consternated, making Kakashi mostly entertained, but almost sorry for her.

Almost. "But we're going to make another one~" Kakashi singsongs, deeply amused, draping a sympathetic arm over Naruto's slumped shoulders.

"A-Another." Chouji stammered.

"Yeah! We're going back to my place right now!" The blond brightens, adorably oblivious.

"A-And...?" Ino asked leadingly.

"And sticking a bun in Naruto's oven," Kakashi chirrups.

"I... didn't even know Naruto _had _an 'oven'," Ino mutters, red-faced.

"Funny! That's what Kakashi said, and Sakura too! She even offered hers 'cause she didn't trust mine!" Naruto snorts, "But I think hers might be broken or something."

"B-broken."

Naruto darted his eyes around, "Uh, don't let her know I said that."

Kakashi's eye feels like it is in an eternal upturned curve. _God, the *looks* on the Akimichis' faces... _"Naruto, shouldn't we be getting back to your place?"

"Right!" He grins back, "This bun isn't gonna make itself!"

"No it isn't," Kakashi agrees, and reaches over to pinch the blond's ass, "Can we name it 'Yakitate'?"

"HEY!" Naruto swats at his hands, "For one, save that for later; for two, 'Yakitate' is a stupid name. 'Ounopan' is clearly better." And hauls Kakashi off towards the Uzumaki residence. (Kakashi isn't allowed to rearrange things at Naruto's and Naruto isn't allowed to leave dirty ramen cups at Kakashi's; it works out for them.)

"Oh. My. God." Kakashi hears Ino mutter just before they fell out of earshot. He's still snickering mentally and therefore doesn't notice when—

"Oh my god," mutters a shadow that peels off and runs toward Konoha's gates.

* * *

And that is how, in the Bingo Books of the Elemental Countries, one Uzumaki Naruto becomes known for possession of a uterus.

(He still doesn't believe that it is almost, entirely, his own fault.)

* * *

_the end._

* * *

**AN: **::laughing alot idek::

Yakitate = Freshly Baked

Ou no pan = bread of kings.


	18. Tale 27: Nine Months

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 27: Nine Months

.o0o.

**AN: **repost of a challenge made way back when at the kakanaru comm... prompt: "mpreg, crack - what it says on the tin, as cracky and lulzy as you can make it pls"

* * *

"I don't believe this," Naruto bitched.

Kakashi hummed and just rubbed the blond's feet more.

"No I mean I really don't believe this! How could this have happened?"

The silver-haired man just gave his lover an exceptionally tired look.

"Okay okay! I know! I was there too! But!" And the blond flailed and flopped backwards on the couch, his belly a distended round in front of him.

"I can't believe I'm telling myself this, but," And Naruto-clone padded out of the kitchen and twapped the original upside the head, "Quit your bitching. At least you have him rubbing your feet." There was a distinct pout, as the also heavily pregnant blond settled next to the original.

"Maa, if I rub your feet too hard, you might dispel," Kakashi murmured, hauling himself up and plopping onto the couch as well, snuggling into the pile of blond.

"Yeah! No dispelling!" Naruto chastised himself.

"Says you, Mr. I-need-a-footrub-at-every-meal and ohhh Kakashi can you rub my ba~ack? Oi! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE RAMEN NOT EAT IT ALL!"

"Too slow!" The third Naruto clone scoffed, and continued stuffing his face.

Kakashi sighed as his snuggly pile disintegrated from underneath him to attack the food. Honestly, sometimes he could only tell the Naruto's apart because the real one kept sticking his feet into his lap, and the last clone was the only one of them all who wasn't pregnant.

The Copy Nin hauled himself up and slipped over to the table. He was so utterly sick of eating ramen... except apparently his body can't get enough of the starch. Nine months ago Kakashi wouldn't have thought he'd be so very much looking forward to labor.

* * *

_the end._

* * *

**AN: **...never challenge me to write crack for my brain just _challenges _itself into new and more preposterous heights...

...this is perhaps, maybe, a followup to Inappropriate Gifts. ::shiftyeyed::


	19. Tale 28: It Helps When You Own The Roof

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 28: It Helps When You Own The Roof

.o0o.

**AN: **Was prompted at the kakanaru meme by promistdreams: "Naruto is Hokage, Kakashi is ANBU, paranoia, roof, leather, schedule."

* * *

Kakashi had debriefed, battle-stained but still upright, a low vibration in his form that Naruto saw, and Naruto understood, and Naruto gave the orders to his men to follow up on the information his ANBU had retrieved and then the blond Hokage dismissed them all, Kakashi's team and one of his body guards to file the paperwork, and the rest of his bodyguards will just have to blush bright red because Naruto?

He curled one first into Kakashi's vest and threw him to the roof beneath their feet, slamming a hand down onto the tiles and throwing up a sight-sound seal barrier and pretty much diving against the silver-haired man, who'd already been working Naruto's pants open.

"How do you want..." Kakashi murmured.

"Just. Just this," Naruto replied, face pressed into Kakashi's neck, against the throb of his pulse, and just _breathing_: leather, blood, metal, ozone, and...Kakashi

And, slowing.

Down.

They're pressed against each other, mostly clothed, chests bumping against Kakashi's flak vest, and Hokage robes a fluttering shield for their legs (twined) and their hands working Naruto's pants open.

Skin.

Blessedly familiar and hot and alive.

And _mine_, Naruto thought almost viciously, grabbing at Kakashi and pressing their cocks together, a heated, slipslide of hidden space in the nest of their bodies and their uniforms and their duties. Naruto mouthed at Kakashi's neck through his mask, and nosed it up from the bottom to reveal the chain of fading bruises he'd left there, and then started sucking a new one in, as he humped against Kakashi violently because at least this was _their_ violence, and_ their_ time, and _their_ sounds, quiet gasps really, but not the sounds that one might think:

"You were late, you were late, you were _late_." _ Didn't make the check-in, I didn't know what to feel._

"I know. Sorry, sorry." _Didn't know if I would make it back, I couldn't let myself miss you._

Their voices hitch, just the slightest; it was only the sensations, they tell themselves, Naruto couldn't speak much past the impending orgasm and Kakashi didn't speak much anyways, and they came with small grunts, one, and then the other, and it wasn't that the sex was earthshakingly good this time, it wasn't the best they've ever had, it was just:

Kakashi's chest heaved under Naruto and Naruto panted against Kakashi's throat and shivers chased themselves back and forth like tension finally shaking itself free, two heartbeats finally, finally slowing themselves down after the tenseness of dual uncertainty, of schedules gone awry and of missions turning sour. And finally, finally—

Winding down.

Breaths slowing, and becoming even.

Naruto shifted his chin, and sort of hooked it onto Kakashi's shoulder. "We should, like. Get off this roof."

"Mmm," Kakashi hummed; a hand resting lightly, guarding the small of his Hokage's back.

* * *

_The end._

* * *

AN: Maaaaan, I love writing Hokage/ANBU fic. ^_^


	20. Tale 29: A Shoe to the Ass

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 29: A Shoe to the Ass

.o0o.

**AN: **Prompt: cinderella

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto, not making money off this.

**Warnings: **none

* * *

Naruto wakes up finding himself ridiculously, indolently, well-fucked. His eyes had snapped open and then he'd immediately mashed his face back into his pillow because, *ow* sunlight, and hangover, and fucking*hell* was he achy.

Waitaminute.

He'd clenched his ass and kinda almost not quite shrieked into his pillow; **not** because his ass hurt, 'cause it was kinda sore but not enough to make him like, cry, or anything, but because it kinda. Kinda.

Assaulted his mind with the memory of a cock stretching him open and **moving** inside him and his just wanting it **harder**.

Naruto smooshes his burning red face even more into the pillows. Then peers over the top of it sneakily, to the left and to the right.

There's no one in the room.

He strains his hearing, and there's no sounds from his bathroom, or the rest of his apartment, and, raising his head to examine the rest of the room...

Nothing looks disturbed.

...wait.

Naruto cranes his head up higher to peer at that misplaced bit of orange, and then tries to slip out of bed though it turns into a stumble, and fuckinggod can his ass just, like, **stop**thrumming and twinging and reminding him of—

Naruto nearly faceplanted into the scrap of orange he found, what with his body giving all sorts of mixed signals, but he caught himself with a hand on the table and then reached down to pick up... a pair of tiny briefs.

Orange, kinda stretchy, expensive-looking fabric.

_Huh._

Naruto lifts a hand to his chin.

_Huhhhh._

Yeah he has no clue whose these are.

_You really should hunt the guy down_, his ass sings at him, helpfully.

_You shut up_, Naruto hisses back.

He entirely plans to ignore the whole thing, yup. Nothing happened, moving along! (And hey, if he shoves the underwear into a drawer... he's just being frugal! Yeah!)

* * *

_end_

* * *

**AN: **::gigglefit:: idefk. Inspired by that one picture of Kakashi at the beach with Icha Icha over his face and a teeeeeeny pair of orange speedos. Eventually when I want miscellaneous hijinks I might end up writing more but, eh, it's not in the cards atm.

Just imagine at your own leisure Naruto chasing down random Konoha guys and forcing orange briefs on them, and occasional one night stands.

* * *

**AN2: **wait I lie, have this:

"KIBA, STAY STILL."

"WHAT THE FUCK UZUMAKI."

"JUST," Naruto rips off the Inuzuka's pants, "I NEED TO CHECK SOMETHING."

"YOU ASSHOLE, I DON'T SWING THAT WAY."


	21. Tale 30: Like A Rock

**Legends of the Fox-wife**  
Tale 30: Like A Rock

.o0o.

**Summary:** Got prompted at the kakanaru meme by bloody_american.

**Prompt:**_ I WOULD LIKE... hm. SEX POLLEN. YES, SEX POLLEN-er, sex jutsu? Whatever. Sex Pollen + Fuck or Die where Naruto is all OH NOES D: because he thinks he's still straight. But then Kakashi sets him, cough, straight (Kakashi's reaction was secretly probs: \o/) andNaruto whines a lot but they have of the charts hot sex and so they live happily ever after. :D_

**Warnings: **explicit sex. alot of it.

* * *

"Nnnngh," Naruto pants, and doesn't, he doesn't, couldn't.

Really hated, hates, had hated, will hate, really really.

That statue.

Had been, _haaaa_, visiting Kumo, and Bee, and Naruto had wanted to see the ruins again, or at least show Kakashi who'd never gotten to see it, and the girls had wanted to shop, and Bee had to attend to some clan business, and it'd, it'd.

Just been the two of them. Just _is_ the two of them, now, after Naruto had slapped that pervy looking column and the column shot upright and glowed full of seals and something in Naruto _zinged_ in response, and ogod he's so hard it _hurt_, and it's just Kakashi here and he just.

Smells. _Delicious._

No. What are you. What. What are. (_Delicious_ want to fuck something, nearest something, nearest warm something, which was _Kakashi_, please, _please_, and just imagining him around his cock—)

_Girls._ "Girls," Naruto mutters desperately, "We should get back. To Kumo, and not, here and fucking _hell_ youhavelongfingers."

He wanted to lick those fingers so bad, take them in his mouth and tongue them up and down and then put them—

whatthefuck these are _Kakashi-sensei's fingers,_ and Naruto drops the digits and backs away. back, back, back, stumbles, sprawling and Kakashi catches him, oh god _why, _stop_ touching me_, and Naruto _hurts_. wanting to... something, anything, make his cock ache less, pressing a hand against the tent in his pants and moans, because it's not enough and fucking _hell_ Kakashi shouldn't have to deal with this, it makes Naruto writhe on the inside that Kakashi's watching him, wanting to just_ die_ of embarrassment, because_ fuck,_ it's his sensei. his sensei. _His,_ and Naruto twists around in Kakashi's hold on him and hisses in his face, "_You need to leave,_" possessiveness a roar in his mind.

"...Naruto?"

And Naruto can't be hearing this right, he _can't_, low growl like a _scriiiiitch_ straight down to his cock, dark and savory and warm like the best of soups, like the sound of the taste of home. Naruto throws himself off of Kakashi when he finds himself drifting closer, crabbing away, but that just pulled the fabric tight against his groin and he drops like a stone, curls around himself and _moaning_ from it, the pain, the horniness, the helplessness. He feels so goddamned overheated that he thinks he might fry his own brains with it, and there's no way around this: he's gonna die.

_Aaannnngh,_ and he arches into the touch at his hair, the small sensation electric. Long fingered. Scent like a physical cockring, making him just want to. Want to. _Want_— "Kakashi," Naruto grits out. "Go away. You don't...you..."

He can barely see anything, Naruto's so sightless from lust. Finds himself grabbed, and he's almost going to yell at Kakashi again, 'Let me go!', when Naruto finds himself draped against skin, pale and endless and scarred but, but, perfect, oh god _skin_. _Nnnnfuckfuckfuck_, Naruto finds himself shredding his own clothes mindlessly, and maybe hands help him but he doesn't even know, 'cause then the expanse of their skin just touches, and a bit of the pain and urgency fades. He's gasping in relief at the little bit of leeway, and is starting to burn with the embarrassment of it when—

"Here," a murmur into his ear, and Naruto finds himself rearranged a bit, and his dick grabbed— _fuck_, just short of perfect— and it slides between... Naruto darts his gaze down... between Kakashi's firmly closed thighs?

"No lube," an apologetic sigh, "Just thrust? It may be enough."

Arms around him, Kakashi's whisper in his ear, and Naruto clutches back and just gives a thrust, once, and _god, it's awesome_, the bizarre softness of the older man's inner thighs, and the slight slickness of sweat and this beautiful friction and heat and pressure and Naruto's sliding his dick past Kakashi's balls. _Between his sensei's legs_, the thought ricochets in Naruto's head and he starts thrusting harder, then faster, because of it and the glorious sensation of just _fucking_; Kakashi's soft murmurs filtering in,_ 'Naruto',_ his sighs and the smallest gasps.

_Kakashi is hard,_ some part of his mind finally registers, hard because... because Naruto's fucking him between his thighs.

And Naruto comes with the thought, with arms clenched around the man who used to be his teacher, around the man whom he still looked up to as a master of Naruto's trade, between the legs of Sharingan no Kakashi.

Too bad orgasm only settles his heart rate a little; it didn't settle his erection any.

Naruto closes his eyes against it, red-faced, dick-aching, and pretty much wants to cry, but a hand cups his face, and turns him back towards the older man and Kakashi whispers, "It's okay, just use me until this has run it's course."

_Use._

Him.

ogod, Naruto had thought that they were trying to get him _less_ hard, not more; he pants a little with it, gaze still down and turned away and oh god _*Kakashi* why did you say something so—_, he shifts again restlessly, skin seeking more sensation again to mute the roar of _want_ in his blood. Why is Kakashi even, why did. _why._

did Kakashi roll up like that, against him, scattershotting all the thoughts in Naruto's mind, sliding Naruto's cock the the niche of clenched thighs and the creases of groin, his dick all poking up into Kakashi's secret places, wet with the splash of Naruto's come. He just presses his face against Kakashi's collarbone and let the sounds escape from his throat, their movements together somehow better than his alone, Kakashi's hard-on rubbing wet lines into his stomach.

_God,_ Naruto thinks,_ He's hard because of this._ Maybe he'd been affected too? Maybe Naruto wouldn't have to bury himself in shame after this, but that meant.

That meant Kakashi must hurt as well. "S-sorry," Naruto licks the word into that collarbone at his face, and then kind of couldn't stop running his mouth against it, just, something about the feel of it, and something like saltymusky_want_ rising from the skin that made him just want to lick it all up into his mouth and maybe bite a little. So he did, biting, then soft nibbles, rumbling, "Y-you must... Probably not just me, na?"

"Na— _nnnng_—naruto?"

Slides his dick away from the wet gap of Kakashi's thighs to press himself full length against the older man's belly and cock, hand rising to clasp them both and give them both some relief. _Eeeeh,_ it's weird touching a dick and not getting the feedback saying he's grabbing his own... but it kinda. It's kinda.

Naruto sorta holds Kakashi's dick in place while he humps his own up against it, cross-eyed and moaning, it's all soft skin and hardness, and okay, he's missing the pressure he'd had before, just a bit, but this. _ogod._ 'cause Kakashi's throat rumbles with a quiet desperate sound and Naruto feels it beneath his mouth like a living thing, and his dick plays against the furious heat of Kakashi's cock, which is so goddamned hard, from whatever it was. That statue, Naruto thinks to himself, as he lets Kakashi move again.

"I—" a slow, decadent frot against the silver-haired man, "I came already," can't help his mouth all, _dammit,_ molesting Kakashi's neck along the way. "You should—" _Wait, Kakashi's skin on his *neck*._ "—_whoa_."

Naruto's just realized that there's no mask blocking his path to Kakashi's chin, and just opened his eyes, his grip suddenly tighter around their dicks as his toes curl, as he lifts his face away a bit, because his mouth against Kakashi's skin felt amazing but.

In theory it's only a chin and cheekbones and a nose, that he'd seen the outlines of before, behind Kakashi's mask. But. together,_ together_, with that lust-shot gaze and mouth dropped open, hair already sweat-droopy, and face just.

_open._ in a way that Naruto had never expected. His hips jerk. A well-muscled arm pulls them together tighter, a long-fingered hand joins his at their cocks, and a thumb rubs circles over his cockhead as Naruto gapes at Kakashi's face as electric sensation shoots up his spine and he comes, again, long messry ropes of it, eyes slit open meeting Kakashi's eyes, black and red, as Kakashi's mouth pants open a bit wider and his face tenses, and Naruto thinks in awe that,_ wow, I'm so fucked._

Because he's never again going to be able to get that sight out of his mind.

And not want to see it again.

And not want to _feel_ it again, the helpless little jerks of Kakashi orgasming against him, mouth trembling but saying nothing, and Naruto had to. had to, He.

Curls down-in-against, presses his mouth to the corner of Kakashi's mouth, to feel at its movement. _Tell me,_ Naruto's finds himself silently whispering, and he isn't even sure what he's asking Kakashi to say, still shocky from the combination of afterglow, and persistent lust. Because even though he just came, and the haze retreats a little, and the pain too, Naruto's not even surprised that he's still, for all that,_ still_ hard. And Naruto whimpers with it, a desperate squirm, trying to find some friction again, or some pressure, or some.

_Nnng!_

"Maa, sorry," and Kakashi's fingers returns to playing at Naruto's cock, firm strokes, and thumbing a little at the tip, and he aches a little at how good it is, at how it chases the fire away from his brain, like Kakashi's touch chases the incoherence off and folds him back into his skin, even as it seems the silver-haired man's own skin gets filthier by the moment, streaks of both of their come smearing as Naruto _writhes_ against him, rubbing himself against any bit of Kakashi he could reach, shocky pleasure that had him dripping wet, from sweat and precome both.

Naruto comes, again, into Kakashi's hand; practically sobs with how much it _didn't_ help, still _wanting_, and wanting to _scream_ with it, because wasn't this _enough_ yet?

"I think it worked better the first time," Kakashi murmurs, and Naruto barely could work out what he meant when he's pushed back a little and his dick's led between the copy-nin's thighs again, and he. gets to.

move. Oh god. yes. Thrusting into that tightness, yes, but this, better this time, both of them moving and, watching, him watching Kakashi watching Naruto's cock working between his sensei's legs, Kakashi's _face_, vaguely surprised, lust-glazed, gaping, (_beautiful), _the gaze flickers up.

Meets his eyes.

Darts away. And Naruto fucks into that tight space, and Kakashi closes his eye, and that.

He _growls._ Grabs at the older man's upper thigh, that'd slowed it's thrusting, and hauls him back up against Naruto, fingers gripping the bottom curve of that ass. And Kakashi's gaze flashes back to him. In Naruto's palm, the man's thigh trembles, and against his fingers the man's ass clenches, and when he shifts his grip to grab that pert curve more thoroughly, Kakashi's breath rises fast and light.

The implication of what that meant slams into Naruto's brain, and when he comes once again he isn't even surprised, dick rubbing up in the dark space between Kakashi's thighs, reaching towards that dip that Naruto hadn't even dared to really think about. Before now. Doesn't even have time to be dismayed that fucking _hell_ how is he still *hard* because his breaths trembles higher too, watching watching watching Kakashi as Naruto? Well, he skirts his other hand to brace Kakashi's hip as he changes the grope into a caress, his hand full of the copy nin's ass.

At first... at first when it yanks itself away from his touch Naruto thinks for a terrified moment that perhaps he'd suggested something unforgivable, but. The dark grey of Kakashi's iris seems shoved aside by lust-blown pupil, and Kakashi's movement turns into insistent jerks that only seems to suggest _want_, because it slides Naruto in and out between Kakashi's legs like it was saying, _I could be tighter._

Naruto pants with the thought, with how Kakahi's movement only seems to smear the wet of Naruto's orgasms around more, and Naruto...

he edges.

his fingers, closer. Returns to that delicious curve of ass, and. and. how is he even _thinking_ this, how is he even _doing_ this, how is he even going to _look Kakashi in the eye_ after this and.

slips his fingers down into the crack. Kakashi's breath freezes, and Naruto almost freezes too except the heat in his blood whispers _want_, and he wants to feel more of this delicate skin here, and his fingers creep down without him, gathering strings of come along the way, and then finding. Finding a dip. A furl.

An amazing sound squeezes out of Kakashi's throat, then, and it's as desperate as Naruto feels even though on it's heels is, "Naruto, we have no lube." Even as the jounin pushed himself against his fingers, and as his fingers pushed in, both of them groaning. _Fuck, it *is* tight._ He is.

Kakashi, is. His fingers are. in. his sensei, _holy fuck_, pulsing around them like Kakashi can't get enough, and Kakashi hisses and it might partially be from pain, but—

"Cum is— _haaaa_— is not a good substitute, but," and that sound, again, and a clench around his fingers, "Maybe... mou, well, there's a lot of it." A flush on both their faces, and Kakashi drops his gaze to his abs and Naruto takes the hint and scoops up the wicked mess that's there, shinobi-trained muscles quivering under the trail of his touch, and brings his fingers back to.

god, the _silk_ and the heat of Kakashi inside, Naruto can't take it anymore, can't take the offer in Kakashi's words or the sensation around his fingers or the call of his mindshattering _want_, smears the rest of the slickness down his erection (that's stupidly wet already from spilling out precome, _must be the statue, fucking hell, that's *ridiculous*_), and shoves open Kakashi's thighs.

A hand slams tight against his upper arm.

"Go slow." A chilling mix of both command and begging, that humbles Naruto. He nods, forcing himself to look Kakashi in the eye and Kakashi stares back, sliding his legs open with almost-reluctance and pressing them against the stone beneath them, lifting up his hips alittle so that he's taking half the weight, and Naruto the rest. And then a warm line of heat folds around him as Kakashi slings an arm around Naruto's shoulders and for some reason that action closes up Naruto's throat in a way that nothing else had. He closes his eyes.

In that false-darkness Naruto concentrates, shaking with his need, and leads his sopping wet dick towards the heated space his fingers had been at, finding that slick give, and rubs his precome across it. A quick swipe only, not being able to take much of it, both of them groaning at the sensations, and then Naruto pushes in. Slowly. The slick slick skin, by bits, giving way.

_Kakashi's ass,_ he thinks, gibbering, _letting him in._

"_Nnngh,_ keep, Naruto, keep—" a wrecked stammer and Naruto can only curl Kakashi up tighter and shove their mouths together, because the unholy squeeze around his cockhead's _glorious_ and he thinks he's going to—

come.

"_Fuck_," Naruto yells ripping his mouth away, and Kakashi gives a slightly hysterical giggle, that catches on itself into a whine hidden in his throat as Naruto pushes his still-fuckinghell_why_-there erection against the new wetness, and works his way in a bit deeper.

"That's— That's one way, I suppose— _ah!_" and there's tears at the corner's of Kakashi's eyes and Naruto doesn't know if it's from laughter or pain or lust, but now that his eyes are open he sees that, _hell,_ Kakashi had been holding, opposite of Naruto's grip on his hip, holding himself open for Naruto with one hand, to help guide him in. Still is.

If that isn't encouragement, he doesn't know what might be, and Naruto presses and presses himself into this awesome pressurehea_tslick_, as Naruto watches the strain on Kakashi's face and is just amazed that Kakashi's letting Naruto do this to him.

(And letting Naruto watch. Watch Kakashi's face and his body, unravelling.)

It's with a slow, _slow_ little struggle that his cockhead finally pops in, Kakashi's ass stretched jittery around it, Kakashi's breaths stilted in his chest, sweat, just beading out across the man's forehead. _God, the *sounds* Kakashi's making, as he pushed in._

"You, um, you ok...?" Naruto pants, flushed and sweating with not moving, but forcing himself to past the screams of that stupid unceasing want because he doesn't want _Kakashi_ to scream. (er, in a bad way. wow, can he get Kakashi to. scream, because of him?)

Kakashi breathes for a moment, gulping down a breath, ass a tight hold on him, and nods, once. And while Naruto doesn't quite believe him, he knows how determination can push past discomfort and it thrills him to know that Kakashi wants this that much too. Just the thought of it eases him, even if the want is statue-induced.

He thrusts in. a steady pressure only encouraged by the pull of Kakashi's arm around his shoulders, by the spread of his legs, and the arch of his spine, and the low, wanton sound that rips out from Kakashi's throat in a way that makes Naruto lose his breath.

(Kakashi's body, ass, face, opening, to him. It's rocks his mind, never having before seen Kakashi this uncollected and incoherent.)

He doesn't know how he made it, keeping himself slow, one torturously blissful moment to the next, the amazing decadence of all that sensation, of Kakashi laid out like a feast below him, of _fucking_ Kakashi, only he isn't yet because he's supposed to be moving slow. except.

He shoves in, helplessly, the last delicious inch, and the silver-haired man lets out a cry and for half a moment that seemed like a bad thing but then Kakashi _grinds_ himself on Naruto's cock and then they really, are._ fucking._ Tearing into each other, fingers bruisingly hard, and Naruto folding Kakashi in half, shoving long legs higher, and Kakashi wrenching at Naruto's hips with iron-tense thighs and mouths working against whatever piece of skin they could reach, until they reached each other.

And with an electric intensity, they both come, hearts pounding, toes curling, screaming down each others throats.

A breath.

Two.

Three.

And then Naruto starts swearing and Kakashi just chuckles, tiredly, because Naruto's cock?

Is. still. hard.

"Aa, here, let me up for a second," Kakashi murmurs, with amusement in his voice and glancing at Naruto measuringly as the blond leans back, still swearing. A gasp cutting off his curse mid-word as they separate. The silver-haired man slips up from under him with a slight groan and Naruto watches him a bit worriedly as Kakashi wobbles around picking up their clothes... which might have come off as less worried and more of a leer as, er. it's kinda really hard not to. well.

_Kakashi,_ Naruto thinks,_ has a really pert ass._ (He already misses it.) And of course kind of wants to brain himself because, seriously, _what,_ but also... hard not to notice now that Kakashi isn't. well.

Hard. Like he is.

"Kakashi?" Naruto asks, and his voice is sort of stupidly small, "You— You're not affected by the statue?"

The copy nin had ambled back over and is spreading their clothes on the ground, and turned to him, partway, "Aa... no." Those long fingered hands slowed a bit at what they were doing, but seems to finish up. Falls to the man's sides. "Would... that be a problem?"

Naruto just stares at those hands, a riot of unnameable feelings slamming it's way roughshod through his chest. He doesn't know if that meant anything, that Kakashi didn't mind, hadn't minded, doing all of, of that, with him. If it'd meant everything, or nothing at all, if Kakashi would have done this for anyone or everyone. He feels like snarling, and doesn't know why.

"Naruto?" And the voice's soft, kind, and when Naruto looks up he sees Kakashi's face and that one eye opened to him. It really is quite an expressive face, maybe, maybe that's why Kakashi covers it, but it's not like it helps Naruto any, because he doesn't know what to make of the expression on it.

"I— I still. I'm still—" and Naruto flushes, and beats his own thigh angrily, his hard-on still relentless and clouding his mind and his words, the more so with every moment that he isn't touching that markable pale skin, "_Dammit_."

"It's okay," he murmurs, and touches Naruto. (_Yes, it's okay, now. You can breathe, now.) _A grip that pulls Naruto down closer to the, he now realizes, the makeshift _bed_ of their clothes. And Naruto starts losing his balance, one hand shooting down to press into the fabric, half-draping himself across the taller man's form, "I'd said you could use me until this passes." A sudden smile cracks brilliantly across that face and Naruto catches his breath, "Am I that much of a liar?"

"...no?" Naruto barely has a chance to say, as Kakashi thumbs at his mouth and he licks at it like the roar in his blood demands, then nearly chokes on the soldier pill it shoves in.

"_Swallow._" Kakashi says, and it becomes the dirtiest command _ever,_ "We don't know how long this'll last." And Naruto obeys, dry mouthed, watching Kakashi's throat as he swallows two pills of his own and takes several long pulls of water from his canteen, which then gets pressed to Naruto's lips. Naruto swallows, and is about to reach for a second pill of his own when Kakashi just skims past his reach and fucking _feeds _him again.

"Did you forget where your fingers have been?" he whispers, almost singsong.

Naruto almost gags on the pill going down and burns bright red; because his _cock _certainly didn't forget, and (at the reminder) _all _of him starts humming with the words _I miss it I miss it I miss it _and heat flares within him like a brand. He stares at his teamleader and doesn't know how to ask if he could fuck himself back into his ass, but Kakashi simply smiles wryly, looking the blond over, then twists himself under Naruto's arms, belly down. And folds his arms under his head.

"Well?" Kakashi asks, over his shoulder, a playful, lazy glance, and spreads his legs.

_Oh my god._

Naruto reaches shaking hands out, trying to restrain himself because he's seen how Kakashi had been unsteady, moving about, and how fatigue's starting to affect the smoothness of his motions, he doesn't want to hurt— 'cause they have no _lube _but—

But when he spreads Kakashi's asscheeks apart, he just sees this wet _mess, _smeared everywhere, most of it Naruto's, he knows, some still even dripping out of.

_God, _he's _dripping out of Kakashi's—_

Naruto grabs his dick and gives it a quick pull, and then aims his orgasm where it might do the most good. The pinked hole twitched under it, and Kakashi snickers into his arm, and Naruto just goes ahead and starts pressing his cock in, 'cause if his sensei's feeling okay enough to _laugh_ that Naruto's just masturbated over his ass then clearly this is okay.

Right?

Kakashi's groan seems to agree, and the way he shifted his hips slightly, to accommodate Naruto's girth. Naruto almost feels like he's squeezing his way in, past the squish of his come, and once he's fully seated reaches down to stroke gently at where Kakashi's hole is quivering around his cock. _You okay? _

A high-pitched whine is muffled in Kakashi's throat.

"Sorry," Naruto whispers, flushing, _must've been a bad idea, _reaching down instead to sort all of Kakashi's balls into a palm so it wouldn't get accidentally smushed or something when he starts moving. They feel delicate in his hand and he protects them as he thrusts.

"Don't be s— _aah!— _sorry, it's—"

_God, so *tight*._

"I-it's all right, Naru— _fuck, Naruto._"

He'd began grinding, circles, deeper and deeper, and its apparently making sweat break out all across Kakashi's back; Naruto sets himself to licking it up and feels assured by the growing hardness at the back of the hand cupping the silver-haired nin's balls.

They might be here awhile, so this is Naruto's attempt to pace himself.

(His sensei's breathing so hard it may as well be moans.)

Attempt.

And time... becomes hazy. Naruto doesn't even try to orgasm anymore because of how useless the other times were although it happened a couple times, here and there. Just made his movements more slick for awhile, is all. Movements that became increasingly slow, and careful, and delirious, and _strained_, because panic begins clawing up his throat, paired with the unnatural lust.

(Kakashi's charka wobbles, fatigued.)

_Naruto, aa, I need— _a tired tremble— _a nap, but just go ahead and— _a limp hand waves him on.

Naruto tries to be as slow as he can, and as gentle, and god, he hopes Kakashi wakes up. He hopes.

_How long has it *been*?_

He has a brief waking (is he still even awake?) nightmare about being found like this, weeks later, unable to stop, his sensei's dead body_ decomposing_ around him and his mind can't even wrap itself around the horror of it, that he'd cause Kakashi's death _like this. _And _not being able to stop. _(The ruins around them, quiet, empty of life and sound but for his own hysteric breathing and the buzz of the seals from that statue.)

Not even the Kyuubi's so hideous and terrifying, because at least with the demon Naruto could _argue_. There was no arguing this insanity his body's undergoing and it makes Naruto _terrified._

_Please, *please* wake up._

(The sensation of Kakashi's white chakra _flickers,_ and his fear starts tasting of the blood that rises from where he bites his tongue.)

The sun creeps across the sky once more, having set at some point, and maybe risen again (he's lost track), when Kakashi snuffles himself awake and Naruto's relief shatters all the words sitting in his throat.

"Yo," with a yawn.

"H-hey."

"...Naruto?" Kakashi peers backward with concern, and Naruto can't choke the wet away from voice enough to shout at him, _Why are you being concerned for *me*?_

His stupid dick wants him to move again, so he does so, achingly slowly, the fear still bracketing his restraint.

A small gasp, slightly pained.

"Sorry," Naruto presses wet eyes against Kakashi's shoulder, "I'm so _sorry_." They've curled up on their sides, to be easier on their knees once it became obvious Naruto's instincts kept trying to drag Kakashi's hips up into a better angle.

"It's oka—"

"_Don't say that._" He's too tired to shout, so he just hisses the words.

Kakashi reaches down to weave his fingers into Naruto's hand at his hip. "Would it help if I moved for you?"

He takes a moment to imagine that, him staying still while the silver-haired jounin ground himself against him, and then shook his head as his cock jumped, "Nah, it'd make it harder." To keep it gentle. To keep himself restrained.

Kakashi peers over his shoulder, silently, then offers, "We just have to last long enough."

"What, you think this'll wear off somehow?" he asks with more hope than sarcasm.

"Or someone will go searching for us."

_God, being found like this would be *humiliating*, _Naruto can't help but think, wide-eyed and gaze darting up at Kakashi, carefully screwing himself back into his sensei's ass again, _how could Kakashi even want to be found like this?_

"Don't look like that," the Copy-Nin remarks lightly, "There's been worse situations I've been salvaged from."

"_Worse?" _Naruto had to squeak, though it reminds him that Kakashi had at some point been in ANBU before...

"Mmm, perhaps not in as, er, indiscreet a situation but," a somewhat strained smile, "Well, they're all classified."

Naruto headbutts the jounin's shoulder as much as he could from his position and a chuckle's given in response, which makes him smile a bit. But he thrusts in again, and Kakashi grunts, and _I'm sorry _hovers in his mouth once more.

"...Do you know how I got the sharingan?"

"Wha—"

And then quietly Kakashi tells him a story of a rock; a story about a teammate and a gift given willingly. "...so there is never need to apologize, Naruto."

The sun works itself a little more across the sky before Naruto could unclench his teeth and outrage enough to grit out, "It's not the _same_."

"I'm living on borrowed time, anyways—"

"Shut the _fuck _up." And Naruto yanks himself out half-way, to the sound of Kakashi's gasp, and lunges up into the slightly-taller man's opened mouth, a hand in that wild silver hair yanking the stupid jounin's head backwards, insisting against those lips, "You're not allowed to say that, you're not allowed to di—_gnk!_"

The sun slips past the curve of the window and the faint buzz coming from the perverted statue cuts off as both it (and Naruto's erection) finally collapsed. It flops out of Kakashi's ass with little fanfare, except for Naruto's wheezed, _Thank god._

The sudden lack of burning _urge _is dizzying but he manages to shove himself away from Kakashi, because certainly the man couldn't want his touch anymore. Kakashi only gazes at him neutrally and tries to push himself up...

Pauses.

Lets himself slowly down again.

"Mou, I think... Give me a moment."

And it makes Naruto scramble towards him in concern, hands hovering indecisively above his sensei's hips, but a long-fingered hand reached past his and pressed at the base of Kakashi's spine. He feels, indistinctly, the movement of chakra past the surface, not as clear as it would have been if he'd Sage Mode active, but Naruto's been more attuned to all chakra ever since that training. It feels like healing movement, and it makes his mouth achy and dry.

He swallows, unsteadily.

"Is there running water in here, maybe?"

"Y-yeah," they hadn't gotten far into the anteroom before Naruto stupidly _stupidly _hit that statue, but there's this fountain further in. "Yeah um, " he watches Kakashi grab a shirt from the pile beneath him and start to wipe himself off, "can I, do you want my, um, help?"

Naruto finds himself with a shirt in his hand before he even finishes stammering out his question, and Kakashi's not looking at him when he mutters, flushing, "Aa, get my legs? And maybe check..."

He almost asks, _Check what, _when he realizes what might need checking after fucking Kakashi for _who knows how long_, and then Naruto blushes too. Makes his hands shake, but he grabs his determination with both hands, because Kakashi _asked _him to do _this_, after Naruto had, after Naruto's practically— (his mind folds on itself, and tastes of blood) and scooted back a little. Kakashi's turned himself belly-down on their pile of clothes and Naruto kneels perpendicular, unwilling to let himself back between the spread of Kakashi's legs, and wipes some of the mess away from the curves of man's ass.

_Damn, but there's come *everywhere*. _Naruto burns even more with embarrassment and something unnameable at the sight, then spreads the pert globes gently with the tips of his fingers and cranes his head over. Kind of stops breathing.

"I-it's really really red," he reports, shakily. "Um, kinda swollen looking."

"Bleeding?" Kakashi asks calmly.

_Bleeding? _But he looks and he thinks... he thinks maybe not? "No? But," _ogod, "_Some of the come coming out is kinda pink?" _Oh god._

(_Kakashi, unbreathing, body cooling and being broken apart under him. _The image slams through his brain and he tries not to gag.)

"That's fine then, nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to—!" But Naruto doesn't really know anything about healing, that's Sakura's job, and so he pulls back his hands, carefully bows his head into the small of Kakashi's back. And holds back a sob.

Then firms up his mouth, and sets himself to carefully wiping up all the come that he could reach and off of his sensei's ridiculously long legs, then wiping himself down. Blinks at shirt a bit, and then offers, "Let me go wash these?"

Kakashi peers at him sideways, then nods, handing over a pair of boxers that he'd been wiping his chest and arms with, and then leans his head tiredly back onto folded arms.

Naruto hurries away, and he tells himself he's not running, going through the door and turning the small corner to face the fountain with the small basin set into the wall. He tosses the clothes in, clutches at his head, and screams, silently. Then slams his hands down to grip the basins edge and breathes harshly through his nose until he settles his heart by sheer force of will. Drops down into a cross-legged pose and pushes himself into Sage Mode, reaching his senses towards Kakashi.

_Alive._

Tired, but alive; there's not that screaming empty hole where Kakashi's signature was_ supposed _to be, that Naruto had found coming back to Konoha and Pain. He still doesn't like to think of that time, and still hadn't processed the shock that day before Kakashi had appeared suddenly, bracing him up on the way back to the cratered village. (Still doesn't think he can process the thought, now.)

At the moment, the signature white chakra's only a little dimmed, but not anywhere near extinguished. The man isn't injured, like Naruto feared Kakashi had been lying about, but exhausted and strained; most of the strain concentrated...

Naruto snaps out of focus, embarrassed. And reenergized from the nature chakra, throwing himself into scrubbing the soiled clothes like focusing on them would make his face less hot. It only slightly works; and he wrings the cloth out the best he could and hangs the shirt (his shirt) on the basin's edge. Then taking a breath, he dunks his head into the freezing water, scrubbing at his hair with one hand, and then wiping his face off with—

_These are Kakashi's boxers._

He drops them into the water like he'd been scalded, and groans, wondering how he'd ever look Kakashi in the _face _again at this point. Blinks a little, shuddering, as his sight kinda goes a bit hazy at the memory of that face; _god, no wonder he hides that under the mask_. (It's just a face but... he bets if Kakashi went around without the mask he'd keep getting randomly kissed and the poor guy would get nothing done all day.)

Shakes himself loose again, splashing himself all over with the water like a makeshift cold shower, sorta glad that he can't get it up for the _life _of him right now. He fishes out those damn boxers and wrings them out. Thinks about it, and then folds it in half, the best he could.

And, throwing his shoulders back, marches back out.

But he falters a little, under Kakashi's kinda intense gaze, peeking out from the crossed arms he'd been laying on.

"Your, er, boxers." Naruto squats down and hands them over, goosebumping alittle from the water cooling on his skin. He holds his gaze on that lone dark-grey eye with the same focus he uses clutching a maelstrom of chakra. He still thinks the Rasenshuriken's easier.

Kakashi nods absently and wipes at himself some more with the wet cloth, and continues staring at him. It's out of the corner of his eye, but Naruto could totally _tell_ after all these years. Some of the water dripping into his eyes and he irritably swipes at it with the back of his hand.

"Uhh, what—" _is wrong? (with me?) _Naruto shifts uncomfortably, maybe he should move away?

"Keep watch while I sleep?" Sharingan no Kakashi interrupts, and he can only nod, watching as the silver-haired nin settles himself into the nest of their clothes. Naruto gapes a bit, then shrugs and shuffles a bit closer, near the man's head. He watches a bit, and bites down on the urge to run fingers through that silver hair. (his mouth tastes of blood)

Instead, Naruto goes cross-legged into a light meditation, senses watching their surroundings but mostly watching Kakashi, guarding his rest.

And this is how they were found by Kumo nin eight hours later.

* * *

_end part 1 (of 2)_

* * *

**AN:** what. everyone likes a sex pollen fic. It was just a statue this time. ^_^

...I kinda promised to double bloody_american's wordcount, and then it got into ridiculous amounts of porn AND SHE STILL HAS TO POST HERS.

Given the epilogue of this, this'll still probably end up doubling her wordcount, even though part 2's mostly not porn.

Uh.

At this point.

...you never know.

...I really shouldn't make promises, huh? /facepalm

Originally I planned for it just being one foxwife, but then the wordcount almost got to 7k and I was like, fuckit. /posts

And yes, the compare/contrast to Strike are there are on purpose. Naruto has double standards, whaaat? (but then again so does Kakashi so, w/e w/e)

* * *

**Edit:** Also, to everyone that has ever reviewed this, or any, of my fic, THANK YOU SO MUCH. Each and every one is treasured and some of the longer ones makes my WEEK. Or I just... let it hang out in my inbox to read and grin over. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, and are what has motivated me to get off my ass and start posting these fics that I've been sitting on.

Regarding Strike, that has at least one or two more long sections, an epiloque, and a sequel; but it's all getting smoothed through. ^_^ Ya'll ain't seen nothing yet.

Regarding TSIW, that darn thing I've outlined into Act 6, but Kishimoto's current hijinks with the War Arc has been giving me fits, so I really need to see how he's wrapping certain things up because I'm seeding for future things in Act 2. I haven't forgotten this, I haven't abandoned it, and there's maybe 10k words of scattered scenes and outlines for the fic. I'm really glad to know people are still finding and reading the fic though! Thank you for leaving me your encouraging thoughts!


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